Vol. I – Champagne style on a Beer Budget

Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants 63 COMMENTS

So I’ve been toying with adding a monthly feature to this little blog o’ mine. I love the idea of having a fun blog project due every month. I also hate the idea of having a fun blog project due every month. You can see my dilemma.

This feature would be a way to share another of my obsessions with people that I think would enjoy it. See, I have an unnatural need to buy every vintage ladies magazine I can find. I have piles of magazines from the 20’s to the 70’s (and don’t think I haven’t been eyeing the 80’s ones lately). They cover subjects like homemaking, interior design, crafts, embroidery, crochet, and yes – knitting. I’ve also got lots of old pattern leaflets of all kinds. I went through a brief pot-holder phase which culminated in my going cold turkey from eBay for almost 6 months.

Occasionally, when I’m supposed to be doing something for the good of the household, I just sit in the corner of a room pouring over the images and articles which range from beautiful to hilarious to mind-boggling. Instead of actually baking a cake, I page through a 1952 Ladies Home Journal and just imagine baking one then twirling around with it in the kitchen while wearing a fluffy 50’s dress. And pumps. You know how it is. Humor me, just nod politely.

Having just scored another great mag stash, I am inspired to share. And this new batch is a doozy. Mostly McCalls Needlework and Crafts from early 70’s, AND some terrific booklets from the Creative American Craft Series. No cake-twirling here, nosiree! Nothing cakey OR twirly about the 70’s, you’ll see.

So without further ado, I present my new and tentative feature: The Museum of Kitschy Stitches

For this first edition, we will be heading into the East Wing which houses the Seemed-Like-a-Good-Idea-at-the-Time Gallery.

This is Evelyn Richardson of Long Beach, CA. She is this week’s Guest Artist. “Hi Evelyn!”

According to the fine folks at the Creative American Craft Series, Evelyn’s enthusiasm for crocheted hats and purses led her to a unique brand of hand-crafting. That’s the understatement of the decade. Ladies and gentlement, I give you . . . Aluminun Can Apparel. All together now – “Thank you, Evelyn!”

And just how did she come to realize that cans were to become the medium through which her muse would speak? “Evelyn discovered that aluminum cans offered her a greater variety of color and design and were always available from her son and his friends who collected them on weekend trips.”

So her beer-soaked son, who I can only assume lived in the basement, led her to it. It’s starting to make sense now. And how does a woman living in denial of her boy’s rampant alcoholism manifest her concern? Why, with a lovely Coors Ensemble, of course.

Says here that it’s “nice enough for an evening out but still casual enough for that weekend get away!!” Probably no one at the opera will notice the sound of crunching metal as you fidget in your seat.

I wonder what’s worse. Having a six-pack of freezing cold aluminum cans on your head . . .

or piping hot ones?

And finally, what would humiliating clothing be without involving Dad and golf? I know mine would beg for another fish-shaped tie if he saw me coming at him with an empty can of beer sewn into a spunky visor or a kicky hat.

‚ I swear to you that the caption near the photo says “every man should have his own hat which tells everyone that he drinks”. My guess is that if he’s willing to wear it, everyone already knows.

Stay tuned for next time when we will learn that it is in fact possible to make skin-tight hot pants out of crocheted granny squares.