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Ok, buh-bye. I’m off to start my new job as Hobo’s assistant. Gonna ride the rails with a clown, lookin’ for that Big Rock Candy Mountain. Ayup. Seems about all I’m cut out for.
Huh? You want more than that? Really? Can’t you just imagine that I was brilliant and witty and totally at ease? C’mon, help a sister out.
Oh, alright. I’ll tell you. It started off horribly. Really, really bad. So bad that I almost asked for a do-over, and then it occurred to me that I’d have to actually do it over, so I pressed on.
Here’s the thing. In Hadley, I had my presentation all written out, but I’d start reading and it was nearly impossible to look away from the paper and at the audience. This time I just jotted some notes onto a few index cards. This way I’d have prompts, but nothing that would draw my eyes in. I rewrote the cards a couple of times and read them over and over. I even went over them in traffic when I got lost on my way to NYC. (I was supposed to take 278, but I took 287 and ended up who the hell knows where. Upstate someplace.) I knew it cold and even ad-libbed some great stuff in the car. I was lovin’ me!
And then I showed up.
Maria, the events coordinator at Barnes and Noble, was really sweet and helpful. She had set up a space right in front of the religion and mysticism section. Seems like that might have helped, right? A little mojo from all possible sources.‚ I was feeling really good about everything and met my cousin, Elaine, for a bite to eat. She and her husband, Bob, live nearby. We all came back to the bookstore to find a great array of people. My other cousin Ray, his wife, Joyce, and handsome little son, Aidan (they also live nearby). Sarah Sockit, who was the impetus for the MOKS book. And the two book designers, Arin and Stephen, were there with their wives. (I’ve been dying to meet them, they did a killer job and added so much style to the book) Stephen’s baby was ridiculously cute. She had a little knitted mermaid. Nishanna was in the front row, knitting what turned out to be this lace shawl. So pretty, makes me wish I knew how to knit. There were about 10 other people, as well. I didn’t recognize any of them, but they seemed like lovely people.
So what’s the problem, you ask? I have no idea. But I sucked. I stuttered and stumbled and missed half of the stuff on the first few index cards. At one point, I heaved a great sigh and muttered “This is terrible.” I don’t know if anyone heard or not.
But as soon as I picked up a sweater from the bin of uglies, it started to get better. I still used notes and it wasn’t great, but it was definitely better. By the time I was done with the sweaters and moved on to the Q&A, I was feeling 100%‚ at least 78% better and more confident. At this point, I no longer had any notes. I was winging it and loving it.
I think it was the freaking notes!! I got so tense about missing something from the notecards, I threw myself off completely. You know what? I don’t need some stupid little notecard to tell me what to say! I know why I’m there and I’m perfectly able to have a conversation with people who enjoy kitschy freaking stitches as much as I do. So you know what?
I’m going off note! You hear me? Off note, people! And I’m going to change some things to make it more interesting from start to finish. Mark my words, by the time this book tour is over, I won’t completely suck at this. Oh yes, I won’t completely suck.
Stitchy out.
Oh, and if, after all that, you can’t wait to see what happens the next time out, come over and see me Friday, October the 13th at Porter Square Books‚ at 7pm. Heh. Friday the 13th. Terrif. Watch, I’ll be doing amazingly well and a black cat will fall off a ladder and drop a mirror on my head. Eh, that would probably be worth seeing. Hope to see you there!
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Yeah! I’m looking forward to the PSB gathering Friday. I’ve found when I teach (entrelac and EPS mostly), I try to have my first paragraph ready, then I wing it from there based on thorough (!) knowledge of the subject and the looks on the students’ faces – have I got them and can move forward, or do I need to repeat.
sorry you had to go through that. ugh. i feel for you.
hey i’m going to try and come on friday.
Yikes. At least it can only get better, right? Small consolation.
When I come to see you I will laugh hysterically at all your jokes and mutter about what a genius you are to all the people around me. It will be great.
You know, I have sat through several of my husband’s trials over the years (officially, as the court reporter, for many of them) and he SUCKS his closing arguments with notes but ACES them off the cuff. I’ve told him that repeatedly, and he agrees. That sounds like you, too. It’ll get better, I promise. I’ll be thinking about you.
Y’know – Friday the 13th could be good luck! I’m just sayin.
First book tours are all about discovery – discovering that you need Chai Lattes, how many of your friends will drive 3 hours for your first event, that you don’t need note cards because you are funny shit! and that each event will be terrible and wonderful in new and frightening ways – until you are able to brush it all off. It’ll happen, I promise! Someday you’ll wonder what you used to worry about. I’m trying for a trip down to CT on the 14th – hopefully I’ll see you there.
I’m going to try to make it on Friday… I’m sure you’re going to be fine with no notes! Sometimes spontaneity is better.
By the end of the tour, you’ll have this so down pat, you won’t need notes or nothin’.
Public speaking is so much easier when you don’t plan what you are going to say and you just run with it. It’s easier still if you can get a partner in crime but I suppose being THE McYarnpants precludes that from happening.
I’m sure it was much better than you felt. Wish I could have been there.