Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On August - 26 - 2005   ShareThis

Hello, Police?

Yes, Iโ€™d like to report an assault.

Yes, thatโ€™s right. On my senses! We aren’t even safe in our own Inboxes anymore!! Send the fashion squad immediately. Bring a tranquilizer gun and some matches!

35 Responses

  1. maryse says:

    oh man…thanks for the heads-up — that little missive is sitting in my inbox still unread — directly to the trash it goes.

    by the way — thanks for the picture of the pennywise clown doll. i’m not going to be able to sleep tonight.

  2. SCarrGo says:

    I like the very hopeful “Click for instructions” button!

  3. Ashley says:

    OH My – I thought the same thing when I opened it. EEK!

  4. jamie says:

    Oh my. I mean really, Oh MY. I am rendered speechless.

  5. Colleen says:

    No shit! I took one look at that and thought “WTF?”

  6. Jessica says:

    I just posted the exact same thing. Where do they come up with this garbage?

  7. Anonymous says:

    My eyes, my eyes.


  8. Skylar says:

    I think i just threw up a little. In my mouth.

  9. Marlena says:

    Oh my lord! You should a more serious warning on that link! My eyes almost popped right out of my head.

  10. Between this and the clown I’m not sure I can come over here anymore!


  11. Dani says:

    This is the kind of pattern that sends me into rant mode. Some knitters and crocheters fall in love with technique so much that they forget that someone should be able to use the finished object. Then they get offended when the recipient stuffs the thing into the back of her closet.

    The funniest thing to me is where they say “liven up your back-to-school wardrobe”. Huh? With that jewelry, that ensemble looks like something that someone’s great-grandma would wear.

  12. TheBunny says:

    I can’t even tell you what the sweater looked like. Was it cute? I was confused by all the jewelry and the plaid skirt.

    It looks like a Mad Libs outfit. People give you random pieces of clothing and you have to put them together.

    Problem is, I’m not giggling. I’m just kind of stunned.

  13. Daphne says:

    Ad libs knitting! I love it. It is very much so. Your commenters are so wonderful.

    My feeling is at least they didn’t force an actual model to wear this one. Love the blouse under it, too.

  14. Katie says:

    That is so bad. In fact, it makes me want to barf. Wait, no, it looks like someone’s dog ate a bunch of yarn and barfed!

  15. ellen says:


  16. Deb says:

    Oh good heaven. Don’t they know that some people have to LOOK at the things they make? Ugh!

  17. Betsy says:

    The Gypsy has rendered me speechless. Mere words cannot describe the horror…

    Stitchy, don’t take this the wrong way, but I thought of you when I saw this. ๐Ÿ˜‰ Enjoy!

  18. Donna says:

    Ah, the one thing I can say about Berrroco patterns — they are consistently bad.

  19. One ugly element…I can overlook. Two ugly elements…my head hurts. A pattern made up of at least half a dozen ugly elements: either someone at Berrocco is laughing his/her a_s off or there’s a designer on crack out there.

  20. Diane says:

    Liven up your back to school wardrobe???what school do they attend TeHe……i know….The Academy of Comedy!

  21. Robby says:

    This is why I had shied away from “free” patterns. They usually looked like they were made with yarn that no one would normally buy and in patterns that were best left in the back of the closet. Would embarrass they daylights out of the blind. To each, his own I guess.

  22. Wendy says:

    I kind of liked one of the necklaces…but the rest is…GAG!

  23. Sneaksleep says:

    Omig, this one was so bad that when I got the e-mail, I immediately sent a pic of it to my brother (who doesn’t knit or anything). I think he wet his pants when he saw it. I mean, the sweater (if you can even call it that) is bad enough, and then they have to go and pair it with all that other crap to make it look even worse!

  24. sandia says:

    Is it wrong that I think it could be cute… in a single-colored yarn, without the sheer blouse or plaid skirt or crochet trim or multiple necklaces? Hmmm…

  25. Stephanie says:

    If that is someone’s back to school wardrobe, then someone is getting beaten up on the first day! I guess that really will liven up your back to school wardrobe!

  26. i’m actually with sandia. the technique is fascinating, as long as you look past the color way, the ickcessories, and that crappy oversized crochet trim. i said holy (^%*&$)%$#%&) and my boys opened their door and asked what was wrong, lol.

  27. Miss Maia says:

    That is hilarious! But, really, what were they thinking?

  28. Dharma says:

    And it’s a FREE pattern. Go figure.

  29. Ranger Susie says:

    Oh my God! Are they kidding?!

  30. Laura says:

    In looking at the shade card, there ARE a few colorways that are pretty decent. This one, however, is one of the worst I’ve ever seen.

    If the LYS has this, it’ll be a good candidate for the clearance bin.

  31. Kathy says:

    It burns us! Take it away!

  32. Anonymous says:

    In the imortal words of Strongbad, “Holy craaap.”


  33. B. says:

    So I guess you’re not joining the Gypsy knit-along?

  34. Stacy says:

    You guys need to check out the site:

    Everyone over there has been ranting about this pattern for a couple of weeks now. Of course, the ladies over there aren’t nearly as funny as Stitchy…

  35. Carrie says:

    Why do the words “And then there’s Maude” come to mind immediately after viewing?

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