Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On March - 3 - 2005   ShareThis

According to anonymous sources, something very strange happened recently at a local residence. Our investigation team went to work!

The location of the suspicious activity is pictured here. This medium-sized cardboard box was filled to the top with Styrofoam packing peanuts. Impromptu forensic testing proved that these were not the kind of packing peanuts that disintegrate when licked. After getting a glass of water, the investigation continued. There was no forced entry into the box, so it was determined to be an inside job. Someone familiar with the residence and the location of the box was involved.

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The scene was graphic in its untidiness. Peanuts were strewn violently at the base of the box. Specialists were called in to study the peanut spatter. No specific patterns could be established, so peanut placement was presumed to be random.

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Amazingly, a suspect was found almost immediately. The first 15 minutes of any packing peanut incident are the most important. We were first alerted to the culprit by the conspicuous trail of packing peanuts leading directly to her. She was resistant to questioning and refused to acknowledge us.

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Her guilt became painfully obvious when we followed her with our camera. The dry winter air combined with her soft fur would be her undoing in the end. She continued to deny any involvement in the incident and we interviewed a number of suspicious residents who may have been present. All maintained their innocence and disavowed any knowledge of the troubling event.

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It wasn’t until we were able to obtain this dramatic crime-scene footage from a nearby security camera that any of them admitted their involvement. All suspects have been detained and will be held for questioning for an unspecified length of time. Absolutely no treats will be issued.

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44 Responses

  1. Christie says:

    Forensic Files and CSI’s got nothing on you.
    I will be watching for the ‘E! Dot’s Trial Reenactments’. Will the red yarn poo be exhibit number 1?

  2. hockey mom says:

    LOL! Lemme guess, this one’s name is “Popcorn Ass” or is that “Ghostfart?” (A typical southern name for packing peanuts)

  3. Sara says:

    The popcorn fuzzy butt made me laugh out loud…

  4. Miriam says:

    I just barely missed spitting on my computer screen so hard was I holding in my laughter. Thanks!
    M

  5. Anne says:

    Oh my god, that made me laugh so hard!! Perfect!

  6. You are so funny, McYarnpants! Yet another that I will have to add to my “Blogs that make me LOL” sidebar… If only everyone was as funny as you! :)

  7. June says:

    Awesome! Is this Dot again? What a character!

    June
    http://twosheep.livejournal.com

  8. Celia says:

    Hee, hee, hee, haw, haw!!! You crack me up, McYarnpants!

  9. Janice in GA says:

    OMG, that “Peanuts?? What peanuts??” cattitude cracked me up. Thanks for the hilarious photos.

  10. andrea says:

    oh my, you just keep cracking me up with these cat posts particularly — the last one with the ‘don’t click on this photo’ gross-out one and now this — those peanuts sticking to your cat’s body…!!!

    i love it ~ keep it coming! i’ll be chuckling over this all day 😉

  11. carma says:

    hehehehe

    thank you SO much for this

    hehehehe

  12. Liz says:

    That’s the best laugh I have had all day. I can’t get over the cat nonchalantly walking around with peanuts all over its butt! Classic.

  13. --Deb says:

    So, there I was, calmly reading along, amused by your creative reporting and then . . . that photo of your cat with styrofoam clinging to the fur . . . too funny! It certainly didn’t seem to be bothering him (her?) any!

  14. ROFL. You have me in tears! That was far too funny. Thank you Stitchy!

  15. Emily says:

    Snort, giggle, snort. Oh Stitchy, I was just getting over the red-yarn-poo incident!!! That is too too funny. Thank you for that great laugh!

  16. Christina says:

    Thank you so much for the laugh today. That was just priceless!

  17. erica says:

    That is absolutely the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time. Aren’t kitties great? They never admit to any wrongdoing. :)

  18. Marlena says:

    Your blog is a RIOT. I almost fell out of my chair when I first spied those peanuts stuck on that cat.

  19. alice says:

    i need to make sure any and all beverages are far from me when i read your posts. damn dr. pepper on my monitor… hah.

  20. Rossana says:

    Next stop: Cat Court TV! HAH HAH HAH! Great video and narration! Thanks for the laughter!

  21. knitkatgirl says:

    This is great! I have 3 cats and things like this only true cat lovers can relate to and truly admire. Thanks for your wonderful humor!

  22. Anonymous says:

    This is now the second time that one of your pictures has become my desktop wallpaper! What a fun story, you continue to ammuse me!

    Johanna
    Jofrog is Knitfrog

  23. Margot says:

    *snort*

    That’s brilliant.

    BTW, I have a cat who EATS the potato startch peanuts [the kind that dissolve in water]. She’s even woken me up whilst munching on them if I’ve been negligent in leaving a box of them in my BR!

  24. Jane says:

    OMG, MIL and I both laughed till the tears came. Wonderful.

  25. Stephanie says:

    If only humans were capable of the unflappable audacity of a cat. You go with your bad self Dot! The world is your playground!

  26. Tracy says:

    Priceless, you can almost here pussy saying, “What?!!”

  27. Kathy says:

    Now my husband knows why I love knitting blogs. A great laugh on a lousy march day. I too hate March. (its becoming a BIG problem) I think one reason we hate March is the old Lent thing…..

    Beware those Ides of March…..
    kathy
    at irisheyesknitters.blogspot.com

  28. Heide says:

    Too freaking hilarious. I thought my cats were pretty funny, but they have *nothing* on your little fuzzers. I know I should be more sympathetic and hope for your case that Dot gets a little less crazy, but I have to admit that I don’t hope that at all! I love this stuff! :)

  29. Alex says:

    LOL! Soooo cute! You should make postcards of that!

  30. vicki says:

    OMG that is so hilarious, isn’t just like a kitty. so did she ever “admit” her guilt? thanks for making my day, as having a downer day and laughed so hard that i have tears running down my face, daughter came up and asked me whats wrong mom, had her read it, and she to cracked up.you have the proof, i agree, no treats!!! awww just kidding, kitty was just playing right? hehehehe, thanks again

  31. Lisa says:

    I laughed out loud, and doubled over when I saw the cat’s butt covered in them. Highly entertaining!

  32. Ryan says:

    Reminds me of the time my friend’s dog ate an entire bag of Cheetos and then tried to feign innocence. Unfortunately for the dog, he was a black lab and his muzzle was liberally sprinkled with orange powder. No one was fooled for an instant.

    Wonderful, wonderful photos! Made my afternoon.

  33. Petra says:

    OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!!!!!!
    HILARIOUS!

  34. mayflwr says:

    yeah so i dont wanna be a broken record….but OH LORD that absolutely made my day!!!! (and my day definitely did need a makin’ ;)) thanks soooo much for posting this!!!!!!!!!

  35. starbright57 says:

    How could you hold the camera still??!! I’d be laughing so hard the pictures would be blurred. Loved your story…still laughing!

  36. Anonymous says:

    Really hilarious !
    Thanks for these funny pictures !
    Françoise

  37. B. says:

    Love your funny funny blog, but I have trouble reading it. What you type as an apostrophe displays as an accented A followed by a pound sign, followed by a trademark symbol. so you are typing “wasn’t” and I am reading “wasnâß™nt”. Is this an anti-Mac thing?

  38. Laura.Y says:

    oh, that is just so funny!!! lol. Thanks for making my day! Reminds me of my furkid’s antics sometimes. But it’s nowhere as funny as urs.

  39. Anonymous says:

    Whew.. laughing so hard over here my dad came over to ask what was wrong..

  40. Phyllis says:

    That is hilarious! I have cats so I know that was not a setup!!

  41. LisaPrit says:

    I laughed so loud at the front desk of the library where I work that a patron ssshhshhh-ed me!

  42. Anonymous says:

    i find that a spin in the dryer with an fabric softener sheet really helps relieve my static cling. my kitty is not so hot on the idea though.

    monkey
    http://www.himonkey.net

  43. mia says:

    Oh my gawd! That was TOO freakin funny! And I thought it was only MY cat that had “issues”. My girl can hear a q-tip drop from 100 yards away and be on it in about 1.5 seconds *grin*

    I feel your pain.

    And who knew you were THAT yarnpants *grin* Yes, admittedly, i lurk :)

  44. Tiffany says:

    LOL…just found this post from your link in Ravelry. Hilarious! 😀

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