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The human body is truly a wondrous thing. It’s like a state-of-the-art battery that’s recharged simply by providing nourishment and rest. With proper care, you can make it stronger by depleting and recharging it regularly. Experts agree that it actually gets better with each rigorous use.

Usually.

But I gotta tell ya’, we’re gonna have to go looking through all the remote controls and flashlights to find a new Stitchy battery because I. Am. Beat.

Last week, my best girl-friend, Charlene, and I partook in not one, but two 5K-ish road races. The first one was on Thursday evening in downtown Boston. It was the annual JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge. The course went from the Boston Common to Kenmore Square and back. It was a gorgeous night, the weather couldn’t have been better. I remember walking that route all the time when I first landed in Boston for school. Even though Kenmore Square has changed a lot, it felt like it was just yesterday. In actuality, it’s been about 6,875 yesterdays. !!‚  Anyway, my company gave out three prizes for the top three finishers running for our team and guess what? I won third place! Can you believe it? Wait, you can’t? Well, what if I told you that only three people from our company showed up to participate? Ah, makes much more sense now, right? I kind of fell off my workout bandwagon and wasn’t able to run even half the time, at one point a guy in a motorized wheelchair passed us. We overtook him later, but it wasn’t easy. I’m glad I participated, though. It was good to get out there and read all those corporate t-shirts. One said “We’re running our assets off!” It really was like a t-shirt competition. And now I have 25 bucks to spend at Best Buy!

And then Saturday morning, we did the Chelsea River Revel 5k. It started at 10:30 and was already 90 degrees by then. If you read the description of the course here, you’ll notice the words “up” and “hill” in close proximity. Twice. And‚ not a single mention of “shade”. So, out of about 55 runners, I came in dead last. Charlene beat me by half a second. Seriously, she was recorded at .5 seconds faster than me. It kind of made me wish I had pushed myself more at the Corporate Challenge because the weather had been so good. This was just torturous. And for the last 15 minutes or so, we were the ones the police had to follow on their motorcycles. Towards the end, they started to encourage us, but I can only assume it was because their nether regions had been cooking on a high heat for about 40 minutes and they just wanted us to hurry the hell up so they could pull their roasted loins off their bikes. Afterwards, there was a little fair on the Meridian Street bridge and we treated ourselves to homemade empanadas, which are just like a spinach salad, except they’re fried pastry dough filled with spicy meat or tangy cheese. We had one of each because we decided we had earned them.

In the end, it took about 43 minutes for the Chelsea race (3.1 miles)‚ and maybe 50 for the Boston one (3.5 miles). About a 15 minute mile, which is exactly what we thought we’d do. I’ll definitely do others and plan to keep working on my mad jogging skillz. But I need a couple of days to be able to walk straight first.

But for now, I need to go to sleep.

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The human body is truly a wondrous thing. It’s like a state-of-the-art battery that’s recharged simply by providing nourishment and rest. With proper care, you can make it stronger by depleting and recharging it regularly. Experts agree that it actually gets better with each rigorous use.

Usually.

But I gotta tell ya’, we’re gonna have to go looking through all the remote controls and flashlights to find a new Stitchy battery because I. Am. Beat.

Last week, my best girl-friend, Charlene, and I partook in not one, but two 5K-ish road races. The first one was on Thursday evening in downtown Boston. It was the annual JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge. The course went from the Boston Common to Kenmore Square and back. It was a gorgeous night, the weather couldn’t have been better. I remember walking that route all the time when I first landed in Boston for school. Even though Kenmore Square has changed a lot, it felt like it was just yesterday. In actuality, it’s been about 6,875 yesterdays. !!‚  Anyway, my company gave out three prizes for the top three finishers running for our team and guess what? I won third place! Can you believe it? Wait, you can’t? Well, what if I told you that only three people from our company showed up to participate? Ah, makes much more sense now, right? I kind of fell off my workout bandwagon and wasn’t able to run even half the time, at one point a guy in a motorized wheelchair passed us. We overtook him later, but it wasn’t easy. I’m glad I participated, though. It was good to get out there and read all those corporate t-shirts. One said “We’re running our assets off!” It really was like a t-shirt competition. And now I have 25 bucks to spend at Best Buy!

And then Saturday morning, we did the Chelsea River Revel 5k. It started at 10:30 and was already 90 degrees by then. If you read the description of the course here, you’ll notice the words “up” and “hill” in close proximity. Twice. And‚ not a single mention of “shade”. So, out of about 55 runners, I came in dead last. Charlene beat me by half a second. Seriously, she was recorded at .5 seconds faster than me. It kind of made me wish I had pushed myself more at the Corporate Challenge because the weather had been so good. This was just torturous. And for the last 15 minutes or so, we were the ones the police had to follow on their motorcycles. Towards the end, they started to encourage us, but I can only assume it was because their nether regions had been cooking on a high heat for about 40 minutes and they just wanted us to hurry the hell up so they could pull their roasted loins off their bikes. Afterwards, there was a little fair on the Meridian Street bridge and we treated ourselves to homemade empanadas, which are just like a spinach salad, except they’re fried pastry dough filled with spicy meat or tangy cheese. We had one of each because we decided we had earned them.

In the end, it took about 43 minutes for the Chelsea race (3.1 miles)‚ and maybe 50 for the Boston one (3.5 miles). About a 15 minute mile, which is exactly what we thought we’d do. I’ll definitely do others and plan to keep working on my mad jogging skillz. But I need a couple of days to be able to walk straight first.

But for now, I need to go to sleep.

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So we’re redecorating the upstairs powder room and I’m looking for, I don’t know, something special. Something feminine to class the place up, and that also reflects who I am as a person. How can I combine my love of mid-century pop music with my passion for taxidermy?

I know!

The disembodied heads of renowned 60’s girl group, the Kleenettes! I’ll just replace all that neural tissue with soft, absorbent facial tissue and Darlene, Marlene, and Charlene can be with me forever. They’ll go perfectly with my Sha Na Na toothbrush holders.

‚ ~sigh~ Another rainy day.

Let’s take a little trip back in time to another rainy day, shall we?

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This year’s New Hampshire Sheep and Wool Festival is but a soggy memory. Many posts about it have already been posted, shoes have finally dried out and I’ve moved on to a whole new set of crappy-weather sniffles. For all intents and purposes, it’s done. Over. A silk/cashmere blend that has slipped through the nimble fingers of time. But what time cannot hold onto, a giant plastic bin can. Check it.

My goal this year was to avoid buying green and purple everything. It was a success of sorts. See if if you can spot this year’s color scheme.

First up – wool sock yarn from Dorchester Farms. I can’t seem to find a website for them, but I love that there’s a farm in Dorchester. It’s not exactly . . . farmland. I‚ also love that that it’s referred to as “Dot”, Dorchester Ave is “Dot Ave”, even. And they do have a pretty good zoo. We had our company party there once, it was great fun. One time, a young gorilla named “Little Joe” escaped from there and attacked someone at a nearby bus stop.‚  Craziness. Great yarn!

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And here is some soft wool/silk spun by the “Unlikely Shepherd”, Tim Benjamin. That’s a drawing of him on the card. Seriously, he’s a biker dude with a long beard. My mom told him she liked it and he said “So do the goats! They nibble on it sometimes.” He works at Kelly Corner Farm, which looks like a wonderful place. A dream come true, even. Here, click this. You’ll be happy you did.

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And here was the deal of the day. It’s about 1600 yards of New Zealand wool from Pollywogs for 17 bucks! W00t! It’s a little scratchier than I normally go for, bit I think these colors will make a good jackety sweater thing that won’t touch my skin ever.‚ 

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And here is one of my splurges. It’s a wool/mohair blend from Still River Mill. They’re known more for processing fiber, but I couldn’t pass this stuff up. It’s one of those things that’s hard to photograph. It has that cool, smooth texture of mohair that I can’t resist. And the color is amazing. Indoors, it looks black, but when you hold it in sunlight, the rich blue glistens through. Gorgeous stuff. It’s going to be a wrap sort of thing.

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And of course, I had to stop off at Maple Creek Farms. They were in a building near the entrance and I almost missed them. They don’t seem to have a website, but that’s ok. I can wait for festival season to stock up. The thicker one is a superwash wool that’s going to become something for my impending niece! I’m thinking a little hooded blanket, but who knows. Maybe a kickin’ dress would be good, too.

The other one is a Merino/silk blend. It’s the same yarn I used for my first Clapotis and I just can’t say enough good things about it. The drape is amazing, it’s a tactile delight, and I think no matter what it turns into, it will be fantastic. Seriously, get some of this stuff. It even smells really good.

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And the swag was not limited to yarn. Nope. I actually made an amazing score towards the end of the day Saturday. I spied with my vintage-seeking eye a basket of old pattern books. It was like eBay right there in front of me! They were priced individually, and of course I asked how much for the whole kit and caboodle. The lovely woman at the booth said “I dunno. How much do you want to pay?”‚ I made an offer, she lowered it‚ and we thanked each other profusely. She wanted to get them out of her house and I wanted to get them into mine.

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While I was there, I bought some raffle tickets and a couple of days later, found that I won not one, but two of the items they were raffling off! There were two skein of natural yarn from Kitefield Farm and some wool/angora batting. Not sure where that’s from, but I love the hot pink.

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So not a bad haul, eh? We had a great time, despite the biblical weather. It was Mother’s Day, so I went with my mom and dad. My dad got a huge kick out of learning how silk is rendered from the cocoons and he chatted up a few of the guys who made spinning wheels. When he was young, he worked with the big industrial loom at a textile mill, so when he saw a big wooden loom, he sat right down behind it and explained what all the pieces were and how it all worked. I think my mom was afraid that he was going to break it and they’d have to take it home with them. He probably would have like that, actually. He and my mom worked together in a sweater mill called Pandora when they first met. I was born to knit.

My mom didn’t end up buying any yarn, despite the beautiful things she’s been making lately. Like this Sophie bag.

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How beautiful is this? She added the embroidery and a little loop on the side to hold your glasses. Lately, she’s fallen for the seductive lure of the quilt and spends more time with her sewing machine than with her knitting needles. And, well, I have an admission to make.

So have I.

Y’see, my mom got a new sewing machine and gave me her old one. It’s just like knitting a sweater, only the fabric is already made and you don’t have to seam it by hand! Neat! And because I didn’t feel like farting around all small time, I started by making a cute little tank top with darts and pleats and interfacing, oh my. I know how clothes are put together. Well, mostly I do. Jon had to help me at one point, if you can believe that. Yes, Jon, my husband. He noticed a glaring error and helped me work it out. He’s much better at visualizing how things are constructed. My mom also helped me alter the shirt when I was done with it and realized that the inexplicable pleats in the back made me look like an Elizabethan fat-ass. It’s much better now. See?

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Whew! Look at that. An entire week’s worth of posting in one convenient, easy to use post. I’ll make my way to Mother’s Day, you’ll see.

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There’s an old adage that says “there are no atheists in foxholes.” Judging from the list of religious intonations that poured out of my mouth the very second I stumbled across these twisted playthings of the Dark Lord, I’d say that adage also holds true for anyone in their presence.

Toto the Clown, seen at the bottom, seems evil enough on his own. His apparent possession of two mouths, both most certainly full of needle sharp teeth meant for penetrating tender flesh, is enough to make your skin crawl right off your body and into the next room. But add his pal, Tony, and you may as well ask Old Scratch himself for a play date. Did I mention that according to the pattern, Tony is an Organ Grinder? The very thought of him snatching my liver and stuffing it into his monkey-powered gore machine while playing a merry tune is just too much to bear. I’m going to need a little lay down.