Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On June - 1 - 2006   ShareThis

There’s an old adage that says “there are no atheists in foxholes.” Judging from the list of religious intonations that poured out of my mouth the very second I stumbled across these twisted playthings of the Dark Lord, I’d say that adage also holds true for anyone in their presence.

Toto the Clown, seen at the bottom, seems evil enough on his own. His apparent possession of two mouths, both most certainly full of needle sharp teeth meant for penetrating tender flesh, is enough to make your skin crawl right off your body and into the next room. But add his pal, Tony, and you may as well ask Old Scratch himself for a play date. Did I mention that according to the pattern, Tony is an Organ Grinder? The very thought of him snatching my liver and stuffing it into his monkey-powered gore machine while playing a merry tune is just too much to bear. I’m going to need a little lay down.

11 Responses

  1. Inky says:

    oh. my. crap. look, my mom had brain surgery yesterday, my oldest cat died and NOW THIS. I can’t take it anymore. I’ve had enough of the internet. I’m scared. and SCARED. Hold me.

  2. maryse says:

    tony reminds me of “lady elaine fairchilde” on mister rogers. i always thought mr. rogers’ puppets were scary. especially her.

  3. MadameD says:

    Tony makes me think of Freddie Kruger. Give him steak knife fingers, and you’re good to go.

  4. weeza says:

    Anyone see ‘IT’? I still have nightmares about that clown in the drain. Even him turning into a big spider (come on, 2 hours of freaking out and IT is a big spider? *rolls eyes*) didn’t make me stop checking the toilet a million times. And I was 19.

  5. Stephieface says:

    I -STILL- check the toilet a million times.
    I agree with MadameD add some toothpick fingernails and a stripey shirt… voila!…..
    Hey… maybe some loving demented relative made Tony the “Organ Grinder” for Wes Craven when he was a kid… that WOULD explain alot.

  6. Laurie says:

    Did you notice the designer’s name was Goodenough? There is a punchline there somewhere.

    These go back when hobos were considered jolly and fun and your friend without a home…

  7. Starry says:

    My word. I just don’t even know what to say. I think I’ll just sleep with the lights on tonight.

  8. Emma says:

    Mommy.

  9. Ris says:

    I think the top one looks like LeatherFace. The next pages probably include the rest of the family and the optional chainsaw accessory.

  10. jodie says:

    i just keep looking at tony and trying to figure out how anyone, anywhere, in any time period thought that this was, um, anything short of terrifying in every way possible. he makes the clown look downright cuddly.

    note:
    my huz and i were just talking about what a rip off ‘IT’ was…2+ hours for a giant freakin’ spider

  11. Scared me sooo much I peed in my pants