According to anonymous sources, something very strange happened recently at a local residence. Our investigation team went to work!

The location of the suspicious activity is pictured here. This medium-sized cardboard box was filled to the top with Styrofoam packing peanuts. Impromptu forensic testing proved that these were not the kind of packing peanuts that disintegrate when licked. After getting a glass of water, the investigation continued. There was no forced entry into the box, so it was determined to be an inside job. Someone familiar with the residence and the location of the box was involved.

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The scene was graphic in its untidiness. Peanuts were strewn violently at the base of the box. Specialists were called in to study the peanut spatter. No specific patterns could be established, so peanut placement was presumed to be random.

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Amazingly, a suspect was found almost immediately. The first 15 minutes of any packing peanut incident are the most important. We were first alerted to the culprit by the conspicuous trail of packing peanuts leading directly to her. She was resistant to questioning and refused to acknowledge us.

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Her guilt became painfully obvious when we followed her with our camera. The dry winter air combined with her soft fur would be her undoing in the end. She continued to deny any involvement in the incident and we interviewed a number of suspicious residents who may have been present. All maintained their innocence and disavowed any knowledge of the troubling event.

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It wasn’t until we were able to obtain this dramatic crime-scene footage from a nearby security camera that any of them admitted their involvement. All suspects have been detained and will be held for questioning for an unspecified length of time. Absolutely no treats will be issued.

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Thanks for all the great feedback on the MOKS! I really need to get better about responding to comments individually. Please know that I do read them and love them and always visit everyone’s blogs if they leave an address. My Bloglines list is huge, so I’m reading!

It seems like Trashy McNopants is the gal you all love to hate (or totally relate to). Everyone has a Trashy in their family, don’t they? For some of you, it’s YOU! Ha, I love it!

Well, Patternworks never happened on Sunday. My mother-in-law decided not to come because she didn’t want to get stuck in the snowstorm on her way back to NY on Monday. We ended up just meeting my parents in Manchester (a good halfway point between our houses and my parents as well as my home town!) We went to Buffet King. Or King Buffet. Either way, there was a ton of food. It was mostly Chinese, but there was also, pizza, lasagna, roast beef, and peel-n-eat shrimp (which my mother was kind enough to help me peel because the little feet were grossing me out in a big way. Is a mother’s work ever done?). It was like a cruise on dry land. And since Jon and I are going on a cruise in two weeks, we figured it would be good to get some practice. My dad is the master and showed us how it was done. Apparently, slow and steady wins the race. He very carefully filled his plate on each visit in order to maximize buffet experience. By the time he got to the cream puffs, he had done some serious work. Nice job, dad!

There has also been a very little knitting going on and this is why. Don’t worry about getting the language packs for this site, it works if you hit “Cancel” when it asks. This is the weirdest, cutest, funnest, most addictive video game ever. Well, besides Ratchet and Clank. But it’s totally different than that. It’s got crazy graphics, makes absolutely no sense, and has so many odd details that you can’t look away. The premise if that you are a prince and your father is some other-wordly king. He gets a little tipsy one night and knocks all the stars out of the sky. He feels really bad about it and sends you off with a small sticky ball (the katamari). You must roll this ball around the world and pick things up with it. You start by picking up little stuff like cookies and thumbtacks, then work your way up to pineapples, penguins, sumo wrestlers, fences, buildings, and giant squid. The king will use these balls of stuff to rebuild the stars. Makes no sense, right? But damn is it ever fun! It’s full of insane imagery, sugary Japanese pop songs, and hilarious beratings from the king when your katamari is too small. I played for way too long on Sunday, then as I was reading a magazine later, I was rolling up the words in my head as I read them. I can’t recommend this game enough. Just get it.

And here is a crafty girl who loves it too. She loves it so much, she crochets about it! These hats looks exactly like the sticky ball before you get chestnuts and elephants stuck to it. Jon found this page and was all excited that another knitter liked the game, too. It was very cute. (yes, he considers knitting and crocheting the same thing, and that’s fine by me).

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Holy crap! Almost three weeks gone and you’re still here. Thanks! You’ll never believe what’s been going on. It’s been quite a time, let me tell you. First, I was locked in Sam’s meat locker with Bobby and Greg. Man it was cold and those two are total whiners! It’s a good thing Bobby is such a shrimp, otherwise he never would have fit out the window. And since he was the one who shut the door in the first place, he pretty much had to or Greg and I would have killed and butchered him for Sam’s special of the day.

When we finally got out, we all went on a vacation to Hawaii together. You know, to take the edge off. Well, it turns out we were cursed by some ridiculous tchotchke. Yes, it’s clearly the tiki’s fault that there was a spider on the tropical island. And heaven forbid we should all just admit that Greg may not be the greatest surfer in the universe. Yes, let’s all blame the knick-knack from the hotel’s gift shop. But meeting Vincent Price was awesome. I totally thought he was dead.

So after that whole fiasco, Jan became delusional and thought she was dating a boy named George Glass. It was really sad. She actually made arrangements to have the operator call the house so everyone would think she was getting hot and heavy with “George” on the other line. Pathetic. Honey, I don’t think it’s the freckles that are scaring people away. It was almost as bad as that time Cindy had a psychotic break and thought she was Shirley Temple or when Marcia thought her dentist was hitting on her. I think maybe Carol wasn’t as careful with her pregnancies as she should have been, if you know what I mean.

Well, when Mike and Carol finally got everyone’s meds straight, this little kid named Oliver showed up and he looked like trouble, so I got the hell out of there.

So since I’ve been back, I’ve done some knitting. I am in the very unfortunate position of having someone to make a chemo cap for. My friend’s mom has lymphoma and is going back in for treatment. She will be having more than her share of no-hair days in the weeks to come. I figured she could use a fun little hat and scarf set. The hat uses a single ball of Berroco Chinchilla and since I used two colors, I used the leftovers for a little scarf. Here is a free pattern for the chemo cap. I casted on a few times using a cable cast-on so the edge would have some stretch to it and just didn’t think that size 9 needles were going to make the hat big enough. The row of 60 stitches just looked so short. I switched to size 10 needles and still had my doubts, but lo and behold, the thing grew. I probably would have been fine with the 9s. When I showed it to some friends, they each wanted a set, and I’m going to make one for my mom, too. I’ve never dared to use double-pointed needles, but I had to switch from circulars at the very end. All I can say is that I need practice.

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I’m also chugging along on the Stitch n Bitch Hoodie. I’m hoping to have it done by next weekend, but we’ll see what happens. My mother-in-law is coming next weekend and we’re going to collect my mother and head to Patterworks on Sunday! Wheeee . . . I mean, I’m on a yarn diet, but I’m sure it will be pleasant to just do some browsing. 😉

The color in this picture is washed out, but this is the front, back, and finished sleeve. I just have a sleeve and a hood to go.

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And here is Mike helping me show off the front pocket. I’m very proud of this part. It came out way better that I thought it would.

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And here is a random bit of cuteness to help you on your way. Behold the Chloe sandwich!

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Oh, by the way. On my way back from Hawaii, I stopped by the Museum of Kitschy Stitches. They sorted out the plumbing problem (apparently all of the toilets exploded last month and they had to cancel the exhibit), and it looked like they were putting the finishing touches on a brand new gallery!

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Holy crap! Almost three weeks gone and you’re still here. Thanks! You’ll never believe what’s been going on. It’s been quite a time, let me tell you. First, I was locked in Sam’s meat locker with Bobby and Greg. Man it was cold and those two are total whiners! It’s a good thing Bobby is such a shrimp, otherwise he never would have fit out the window. And since he was the one who shut the door in the first place, he pretty much had to or Greg and I would have killed and butchered him for Sam’s special of the day.

When we finally got out, we all went on a vacation to Hawaii together. You know, to take the edge off. Well, it turns out we were cursed by some ridiculous tchotchke. Yes, it’s clearly the tiki’s fault that there was a spider on the tropical island. And heaven forbid we should all just admit that Greg may not be the greatest surfer in the universe. Yes, let’s all blame the knick-knack from the hotel’s gift shop. But meeting Vincent Price was awesome. I totally thought he was dead.

So after that whole fiasco, Jan became delusional and thought she was dating a boy named George Glass. It was really sad. She actually made arrangements to have the operator call the house so everyone would think she was getting hot and heavy with “George” on the other line. Pathetic. Honey, I don’t think it’s the freckles that are scaring people away. It was almost as bad as that time Cindy had a psychotic break and thought she was Shirley Temple or when Marcia thought her dentist was hitting on her. I think maybe Carol wasn’t as careful with her pregnancies as she should have been, if you know what I mean.

Well, when Mike and Carol finally got everyone’s meds straight, this little kid named Oliver showed up and he looked like trouble, so I got the hell out of there.

So since I’ve been back, I’ve done some knitting. I am in the very unfortunate position of having someone to make a chemo cap for. My friend’s mom has lymphoma and is going back in for treatment. She will be having more than her share of no-hair days in the weeks to come. I figured she could use a fun little hat and scarf set. The hat uses a single ball of Berroco Chinchilla and since I used two colors, I used the leftovers for a little scarf. Here is a free pattern for the chemo cap. I casted on a few times using a cable cast-on so the edge would have some stretch to it and just didn’t think that size 9 needles were going to make the hat big enough. The row of 60 stitches just looked so short. I switched to size 10 needles and still had my doubts, but lo and behold, the thing grew. I probably would have been fine with the 9s. When I showed it to some friends, they each wanted a set, and I’m going to make one for my mom, too. I’ve never dared to use double-pointed needles, but I had to switch from circulars at the very end. All I can say is that I need practice.

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I’m also chugging along on the Stitch n Bitch Hoodie. I’m hoping to have it done by next weekend, but we’ll see what happens. My mother-in-law is coming next weekend and we’re going to collect my mother and head to Patterworks on Sunday! Wheeee . . . I mean, I’m on a yarn diet, but I’m sure it will be pleasant to just do some browsing. 😉

The color in this picture is washed out, but this is the front, back, and finished sleeve. I just have a sleeve and a hood to go.

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And here is Mike helping me show off the front pocket. I’m very proud of this part. It came out way better that I thought it would.

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And here is a random bit of cuteness to help you on your way. Behold the Chloe sandwich!

‚ 

Oh, by the way. On my way back from Hawaii, I stopped by the Museum of Kitschy Stitches. They sorted out the plumbing problem (apparently all of the toilets exploded last month and they had to cancel the exhibit), and it looked like they were putting the finishing touches on a brand new gallery!

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Welp, I’ve been slapped with a meme. Thanks, Ms. Melanie. What’s a girl to do? Answer, I guess.

1. Total amount of music files on your computer?

A lot. Gigs and Gigs of it. I recently transferred most of my CDs, so I have a large library of music on my computer.

2. The last CD you bought was:

A bunch of Christmas CDs from the grocery store, including: James Brown, Dean Martin, The Brady Bunch, Dolly Parton, and Cyndi Lauper.

3. What is the song you last listened to before reading this message?

A stirring medley of Cream’s greatest hits performed by Howard, Artie, and Fred on the Howard Stern show this morning (I know, I know, but sometimes it’s funny. The Cream thing was great.)

4. Write down 5 songs you often listen to or that mean a lot to you:

Wow. This is hard. I go through phases and have tons of favorite songs. I’m going to throw some extras in. These are in no particular order and if I made this list tomorrow, it would probably be different.

-Hallelujah – Jeff Buckley. Achingly beautiful.
-I Am Not a Pretty Girl Ani DeFranco. Go on, sistergirl!
-This Will Be (an Everlasting Love) Natalie Cole. Pure joy in a handy 3-minute package.
-Red Right Hand Nick Cave. I love the classic spooky vibe in this one.
-Every Little Thing Raul Malo. This song is smokin’ hot.
-Rock and Roll Suicide David Bowie (or Ziggy Stardust, I suppose). Glam rock drama at its finest.
-Jockey Full of Bourbon Tom Waits. I always imagine this song being used at a ballroom dance competition. It’s kind of a slow rumba. (Tom Waits would always be on this list, but the song depends on the day)
-Let’s Go Crazy Prince. Freaking awesome song. I toyed with the idea of having our wedding vows start with the lyrics to the beginning of this song.

5. What 3 people are you going to pass this baton to and why?

Julia at Moth Heaven.
Miriam at Mimknits.
Melody at Fibermania.

All three of these ladies are really cool and I want to read their lists. Lay it on me, sisters.