Happy Fourth of July from a couple of wieners!! Enjoy the extra-long weekend and please remember to knit responsibly.
Looks like Ted in the museum’s Acquisitions Dept. went on a bit of an eBay binge and got his first shipment today. It’s a winner, folks. A winner in a most peculiar sport. It’s like the Superbowl of Suckitude. A Marathon of Mocking. The Ididerod of Ick. A Cage Match of Crapola.
Here’s a quick preview of the new additions to the glittering Karma Chameleon Complex which houses our 1980’s collection.
This is the most attractivly proportioned pattern in the whole steaming heap. We might be mising a page because there was no mention of the new fangled 1980’s hands-free cellular telephone with cranial attachment strap.
This delightful sweater is the most eye-catching in the bunch. And not only is it eye-catching, it’s doorknob-catching, clotheshook-catching, and jewelry-catching. In fact, thanks to its patented SnagItAll technology, those handy loops will insure that you never have to purchase a spiral notebook again. Just choose from the wide array that you collect on your sleeves as you breeze through your day.
And finally, without a doubt, this is the jazz-handsiest of the collection. It has that certain “Je ne sais mime” quality that we’ve come to expect from the 80’s. It really brings together the Prince-button skirt and the psycotically perky smile, don’t you think?
And these three pitcures are from just two pattern books. There are about 30 more in the box. You have been duly warned. We should probably warn the mailman, too. He always bears the brunt of Ted’s little book-buying sprees.
So we’re redecorating the upstairs powder room and I’m looking for, I don’t know, something special. Something feminine to class the place up, and that also reflects who I am as a person. How can I combine my love of mid-century pop music with my passion for taxidermy?
I know!
The disembodied heads of renowned 60’s girl group, the Kleenettes! I’ll just replace all that neural tissue with soft, absorbent facial tissue and Darlene, Marlene, and Charlene can be with me forever. They’ll go perfectly with my Sha Na Na toothbrush holders.
Every so often, we at the MOKS get a special treat while perusing potential exhibits for our galleries. A celebrity sighting! It doesn’t happen a lot and since we’re woefully out of touch, we often don’t recognize a Hollywood deity when we see one. Luckily, our museum patrons are more on the ball concerning such matters.
A recent overlooked sighting involved Veronica Hamill from Hill Street Blues. (mad props to Deb and Dana, who uncovered it in the comments on that post)
And . . . uhh, that’s it so far.
Until now! I found one, all on my own. Check it out, a Partridge in a – hmmm . . . something clever that rhymes with “pear tree” that’s also fiber related.
Laurie Partridge, also known as Susan Dey, seems to have spent her share of time in ill-conceived handmades. Even with Sybil Shepherd lighting, this ensemble looks more like a medieval “discipline” device than a kicky spring outfit. It’s more of an Iron Junior Miss than an Iron Maiden, but still, I think it would leave a nasty mark. Don’t sit down, Laurie! Fight, dammit, you can do it!
Well, maybe it would have been better if she’d succumbed to the outfit festooned with Musket bullets. Then she wouldn’t be coated in a tangled mess of salt-water taffy. The more she fights, the worse it gets. Soon she’ll be ensconced in a cocoon of sticky sweets.
Alas, perhaps she would have been happier pupating inside a tasty boardwalk treat, yanking out teeth with every gooey bite of her delicious prison. Because the alternative? It’s worse. A mega-plaid pantsuit of pumpkin and aubergine. Delicious at thanksgiving, not so much when applied to a vest with matching knickers. ~shudder~
Because of our constant and crushing self-doubt, we weren’t entirely sure that this was actually her. And then we saw something at the end of the pattern book that assuaged all our doubts.
Behold the Partridge Family Tartan.
Hopefully we’ll find more celebs in the kitschy pages so we can bring them to you in all their glory. If ever you notice one in our galleries that we overlook, by all means, let us know.
Still need more Susan Partridge? Check this site out. It’s called the Museum of Menstruation and Women’s Health (I’m not really sure where they get the acronym “MUM”, but no matter) and I think you’ll enjoy it. Here you’ll see what other stuff poor Laurie Dey was subjected to during her career.
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(before continuing, click for mood music –>‚ Tubular Bells)
Perhaps before Fathers Merrin and‚ Karras took a crack a little Regan, they should’ve asked Sister Mary Katherine‚ Go-Go Boots here to give her a stern talking to.
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The Power of Acrylic compels you!
The Power of Acrylic compels you!
The Power of Acrylic compels you!
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