Little Aynnie Rand saw no humor in the distasteful shenanigans of those three little pigs. Horrid, filthy, wasteful animals. A house made of straw? It makes no sense! Neither, however, does this sweater. Expanding bust pleats for a seven-year-old? A pair of drumsticks where arms should be? No, this will not do. Objectively speaking, this is the worst. Sweater. Ever.
. . . and so, Bear-Proof Sweaters Inc. was forced to cease production and close it’s doors forever.
This sure looks like a fun way to get kids interested in voting. It really puts a happy face on the world of politics. Just goes to show you that donkeys and elephants actually can play together, they can even share a ball!
Wrong!
This is actually a subtle way to further divide the country. Note that one is knitted and one is crocheted. Go ahead and explain that when the people of this country take up arms against one another. One side will be armed with knitting needles, while the other defiantly waves crochet hooks in the air. The battles will be epic, the afghans will be costly, the scarves will be many. And who do you suppose is behind all of this? Who stands to make the most money in this situation? Think about it. What kind of ball would a crocheted donkey and a knitted elephant fight to the death over? Yarn! It’s the yarn companies, people! Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
*Edited to add: Aw crap. Is that damned donkey garter stitched and not crocheted? Maryse seems to think so. If so, please just pretend it’s crocheted for the sake of the joke, otherwise I’m going to have to erase this and then I’m going to pout for the rest of the day. Work with me here, people.
These kids look just like the 1970s version of the future. Maybe this is what Logan was really running from.
Moments after regaining consciousness, confusion sets in. She wonders, with a grim suspicion of the truth, whether she showed up to the party wearing the blanket or if she just woke up that way. Unsure of which would be worse, her friends vow never to reveal what really happened.
