Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On December - 21 - 2007   ShareThis

Over the past few months, I been experiencing a bit of Blog Ennui. I’ve enjoyed being a blogger and although I’ve never been prolific, I really do love writing. When I began, I was always enthusiastic about adding something new and hoping to give you a chuckle. Over the past year, it’s become something of a chore. I think a big part of that is that it’s a knitting blog and I really haven’t been knitting a lot lately, so I often feel as though I need to write about something I really haven’t been doing. I still love knitting, but I’ve been making all kinds of things lately.

I’ve been seriously questioning my vocation as a blogger. Given my lack of posting, can I still consider myself a blogger, or am I just some washed-up has-blogger who types in a box on the internet from time to time?

Well, last night, I got my answer.

I am a Blogger, baby!

The answer came to me as I was cutting an onion. Actually, it wasn’t cutting the onion so much as it was lopping off the tip of my thumb.

Uh-huh. I totally chopped off the tip of my thumb. And as I looked at my newly enhanced digit, now resembling a freshly sliced salami, there was an eerie calm. And then a whole bunch of running around, looking for a napkin and wondering if I had just done what I thought I had just done. One look at the plate with the onion on it was all the affirmation I needed, for lying there by my just-sharpened knife and half a chopped onion was a dime-sized piece of me. It didn’t look like me or anything, but you could tell it was me. And being the proud, I don’t know, could I be considered a parent of this thing? I mean, it is part of me, right? So being a proud parent, I had to make Jon look at it. I probably should have prepared him better, but it’s too late now.

Since Jon doesn’t drive, he was left in charge of my remains and my brother took me to the hospital. And then, like a Voice From on High, it hit me. I knew what had to be done. Before I even got to my brother’s truck, I was on the phone and calling Jon to ask if he could please photograph the scene of the Great Onion Incident of Ought-Seven, for it must be blogged. I giggled for the rest of the evening at the very thought of it.

Now, I’m going to take the same approach here as I did with Dot and her knitted poop that one time. In order to see the photos, you’re going to have to make that decision yourself. I would never force you to look at my do-it-yourself home surgery. If you would like to see the photo of the liberated tip of my thumb, click the photo of me getting signed in to the Emergency Room. I will tell you that the photos aren’t bloody at all. I got a napkin over it before it started to bleed.

Ok, that was just a test. If you clicked the photo, you’ll see that it’s a just a larger version of that photo. I just wanted you to have a second chance to decide.

Now it’s for realsies. I’m putting them in the order of grossness. The first one is not graphic at all, it’s from a distance and is very out of focus. The last one is really nasty.

This is the scene as I left it. We were going to have a lovely vegetable goulash with ground buffalo. The Bailey’s was for after, so I was not chopping under the delicious influence. It’s blurry, but you can see the piece in front of the onion.

There it is a little closer.

Here is the top, closer still. You can see a fingerprint! Neat! It has all kinds of intriguing sci-fi possibilities.

Here is where Jon really decided to mix it up a little and add some of his own flair to the photo session. As the photo is titled, bllleeeegghghh!!!
So there you go. Blog fodder, folks. Take it where you can get it.

As far as my thumb goes, they couldn’t give me stitches because there was nothing really to stitch. They covered the wound with some sort of foam that absorbs the blood and helps it clot. As the doctor so delightfully informed me, it will form a hard black crust. Tasty! So I just need to change the bandages regularly (but not the crust! No, I must leave the hard, black crust.) It hurts off and on, but they gave me some painkillers. Unfortunately, it’s going to take a looooong time to heal. It’ll be a few weeks before it really starts to scab and form new skin, and even then, it’s a long way from healed. So no knitting for me for a little bit. Once the initial throbbing goes away, I might be able to finagle something with the needles, we’ll see. I had just picked up a sock again and was hoping to have it done soon. Oh well, best laid plans and all of that.

Until then – thumbs up! (I have no choice)

(On the plus side, Maryse has promised to knit me a thumb cozy!!)

40 Responses

  1. P-la says:

    I’m sorry to hear about your thumb. But that last photo, well, I’m sorry but I laughed so hard! It just tickled my fancy! What a strange fancy I must have! Glad you’re blogging!

  2. elizabeth says:

    Here’s a question – will the fingerprint grow back? Or could your thumb go on a crime spree and never get caught?!?

  3. claudia says:

    Dude. That is taking a bullet for the blog-u-tainment cause.

    Hope it hurts less now.

  4. elisa says:

    There’s an element of evil genius here…you can be a knitblogger who can’t knit because you lobbed off your fingertip, but because you blogged it, you’re still definitely a blogger, but you don’t have to blog about knitting because…you see…evil genius.

    And I would like to refer you to this post of mine, circa March 2006 (scroll for pictures):


  5. melanie says:

    Dude, there are very few blogs out there that really make me laugh out loud – the belly laugh kind. You are the queen.

    I’m sorry about your poor thumb. Maybe that little piece can go hang out with the little piece of my colon that the doctor lopped off?

  6. elaine says:

    last year about this time, i did that too! only, i cut it about 2/3 of the way thru, not completely off, so i had to deal with a little flap and trying to keep it connected.

    congrats on follow through! (i have a hard time completing anything…)

  7. scoutj says:


    This is seriously hysterical. You are officially nutso AND a blogger.

    And see, you need to stop drinking and cutting shit with sharp knives!

  8. caro says:

    I’ll have you know I burst out laughing so hard at the checking into emergency photo clickage that I frightened the cat off the desk.
    I’m sorry about your thumb; that super sucks! I wish the the teeny mitten I knit the other night was big enough to use as an alternate thumb cozy.

  9. Kate says:

    You crack my shit up!!
    Hope the thumb gets better but thanks for the laugh… and the pictures :-)

  10. Marnie says:

    That is wow, that is something. Leo and I looked at each picture whilst enjoying our take-out dinner from Olive Garden.

    I’m sure that tells you all you’ll ever need to know about that.

  11. maryse says:

    ok. send me those measurements quick so i can knit you a thumb cozy before christmas.

    your posts may be few and far between but when you do post, it’s perfection.

    and i’m a little disappointed that there wasn’t more blood. maybe you have a circulatory problem.

  12. Mel says:

    Owee, owee, owee!

    You know, of course, that I had to look. Have you thought about drying it out and incorporating it into a Christmas ornament?

  13. Carole says:

    You are a brave soul and a most excellent blogger. Hope the throbbing has gone away.

  14. Jenna says:

    dear aunt debbie i hope you get better and not be in any pain feel
    better and get the finger and remeber to change your bandge
    Love Jennifer Johnson
    PS see you Wednesday!!

  15. Tracy says:

    Oh dear god you crack me up. Sorry about the digit damage though.

    Will there be pix of the hard black crusty thing….ewww, gag, struggle gulp…sorry I just threw up a little.

    Use your painkillers sparingly on day 1 and 2, unless you can get more, today, tomorrow, and the next, will be really painful…been there, done that, didn’t blog it. 😛

  16. Kristin says:

    OMG lol! I’m glad you’re all taken care of but yikes!! do take care of that poor little thumb of yours LOL!!

  17. grumperina says:

    Those photos sure do something for an 8 a.m. Sunday morning blog-reading session!!! I hope you feel better soon! I’m going back to bed now…

  18. scoutj says:

    I hope you know I’ve shared this link with everyone I know… still makes me laugh. Not AT you….WITH you. Oh wait. You aren’t laughing.

    How’s it feeling today?

  19. norma says:

    You are definitely a sicko. I’m so proud to know you. :)

  20. Sara says:

    I’ll never think of salami the same way again.
    Glad you’re OK. Now we can go on that manic crime spree we’ve dreamed of. You can’t fingerprint black crust! HA!

    oh and that last pic, you’re sick Jon. Sick :)

  21. Kim says:

    Great gross pics! You better blog about the hard black crust that will form on your thumb. Perhaps match the hard black crust to some yarn for a lovely artistic photo.

  22. Laurie says:

    Oh my. So that’s what it looks like at the original scene. It’s the best blog fodder since Julia photographed the dpn sticking in her thigh. Actually, better, since it will take longer to heal and required an ER trip.

    Don’t do that again.

    Hope you are past the pain and into the serious healing.

  23. Chris says:

    I’m not sure which of us is more odd – you for posting about a big ouch in such a funny way, or the rest of us for enjoying it so much. But I love it! Just wishing you hadn’t chopped your thumb tip off. I hope the pain goes away right quick for you.

  24. Sarah says:

    So I’m really sorry about the thumb, especially as it will affect future knitting, but I’m dying to know— will that part of your fingerprint ever come back? If not, you could totally be a top secret spy for the textiles industry. Or something.

  25. LoriO says:

    My fiancee did the same thing with one of his fingers while doing some gardening. Lopped off the tip of his ring finger.

    He refused to go to a doctor, and I almost passed out trying to convince him.

    It was fascinating to watch grow back, slowly filling in until looked completely normal again.

  26. sandy says:

    I truly AM sorry, but that is hilarious! We bloggers are a sorry bunch, are we not? But look on the bright side. :) Your thumb will be like NO other. In the world.
    (the picture of the thumb end really resembles a pasta shell. Minus the fingerprint and all)
    Hope you heal fast and painlessly.

  27. ErickaJo says:

    Flying monkies, you truly are too stinkin’ funny. See, this is why I never have a problem with you not blogging for long periods of time. I know that when you do blog, it’ll be good 😀

    Eerie calm :) Good thing, because if you both freaked out, no good would come of it. I know, that when I finally have a baby, I’ll have to drive myself. My husband will be in the passenger seat breathing into a brown paper bag 😀

    Hope your thumb heals fast. Which hand do you crochet with?

  28. Claudia says:

    Well, this just goes to show that finger sandwiches should be off your holiday menu next year!

    Sucks about the no knitting. You may have to experiment with creative needle positioning.

  29. Amy says:

    I can’t believe no one’s made a Sweeny Todd reference–I’ve seen the movie too recently to consider looking at your photos, but your post was hilarious. Thanks for not giving up on the blogging!

  30. Ms. Mango says:

    Oh, Stitchy. I just discovered your blog via Extreme Craft and my timing was perfect. While I am sorry about your thumb injury, nothing is more fun than laughing alone at 2 a.m!

    I’ll be back…

  31. Rhonda says:

    I am so glad you’ve decided that you ARe a blogger – of course, we all knew that a long time ago! So sorry about the thumb, but I haven’t laughed this hard since….since…..oh sheesh! it was LAST YEAR! :O) no wonder I can’t remember it! :O)

  32. Rhonda says:

    so you all don’t think I’m crazy – I live in Okinawa Japan and it really IS the 1st of january over here already – I PROMISE!!! Even if it DOES say Dec 31, 11;42 pm…I was yelling at the neighbors to shut up a good 9 hours ago now LOL!

  33. elaine says:

    it was you!

    i did this exact thing to my thumb a few days ago (with 15 dinner guests in the house no less) and i could not for the LIFE of me remember who had the blog post about a severed thumb. i however did not have the clarity of thought to take pictures of the thumb or its tip. i calmly picked up the thumb piece, told my neice to find her mom (a nurse practitioner who happened to be over that night), walked over to the sink and promptly went into shock. good times.

    but you want to hear the best part? i managed to cut off a bit of thumbnail and when we checked the digit 3 days post slicing to see if the tip had “taken” we discovered that my s-i-l had put the tip piece on backwards…now the piece of thumbnail is on the pad of my thumb. thankfully, the tip did not re-attach itself, so i won’t have to worry about future manicures to the front of my thumb.

    i am looking forward to the thumb brain part-that will be cool!

  34. Juno says:

    OK, that last picture? Made me giggle uncontrollably.

    Its times like these that I realize that there really IS something wrong with me. Very, very wrong.

    Happy New Year, etc. Terribly sorry to hear about your thumb. Except for the laughing part.

  35. Juno says:

    And by ‘last picture” i hope you know I mean the one where Jon got creative in the gore sequence? Not the thumbs up. Which is funny. But not wrong.

  36. Catherine says:

    Hi I just googled “chopped off thumb” and found your blog. My boyfriend just chopped the top of his thumb off cutting meat at work yesterday. Literally, same exact injury. He got the foam stuff and the bandage. So, we need to know: what is the status of your thumb? What does he have to look forward to over the next few weeks? When will the throbbing stop? Any and all information would be sooooo appreciated!

  37. Amy says:

    Well after the first in-focus pic where I believe I did encounter a fingertip, I lost consciousness while remaining conscious. (It’s a poet trick). Don’t leave the blogging world. I’m terrible at blogging which is why that super-occasional huffington post thing (yes, remember my shout out to you?) works. So, even though you cannot knit yet–can you use your teeth?–I want your viewpoint. I LOVE that candy land dress shot. So, they just laid the tip on top of the remaining thumb and smushed it together and covered it and it will fuse? Is that it? ick.

  38. Lindsey says:

    I did the exact same thing yesterday…with a knife and an onion. Left thumb. ER and gel-foam. But…my bandage is blue

  39. CatBookMom says:

    Yowch! Had a friend do that many years ago, sticking her hand into a lawnmower while it was still going, to unclog it. An electric lawnmower. Some panic and fast driving ensued, plus haranguing by the ER docs – she’d been mowing barefoot!

    I hope by now, June 3, your finger is looking more normal and you’re able to knit.

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