Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On April - 8 - 2008   ShareThis

Who’s there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad you aren’t one of these sad sacks of tangerine-colored despair?

(I like to think that the reason the man’s sweater has no buttons was because they popped of as he rent his garment in angst.)

You know, I open up old knitting magazines for a bit of zippy fun and a few laughs at the expense of others. But all of a sudden, I have to find the one that’s edited by Sylvia Plath’s crafty and slightly more depressed sister.

Part of me wants to make jokes about Clementines and Tangellos colliding to form an unholy alliance of color and texture, and the other part wants to find these two and help them out with some neutral tones and an ice cream sundae.

I’m getting soft, people. But now is not the time to be soft. I just found out that I’ve been nominated for another Webby Award (once again, in the “Weird” category)! And I must steel myself for a double ass-kicking as I go up against Cute Overload (who soundly trounced me last year) AND I Can Has Cheeseburger.

Jesus. Can’t a girl catch a break?

I need a drink. An orange one.

Categories: MOKS

10 Responses

  1. Margaret says:

    In spite of the ORANGE and the missing buttons, this is a rarity: I can’t sneer at the style. Knit it up in a nice earth colour, make the black bands contrast subtly in a tone-on-tone matching colour, sew the buttons on well and it wouldn’t be snarkworthy. Well, I don’t know how it would be as a man’s sweater, but I would totally wear it.

  2. Marnie says:

    Ooh, congrats on another nomination!
    Would you please, pretty please, bring back the brother and sister who explain the whole thing? They make me happy.

  3. Sarelro says:

    I think it’s the red hair that really sealed the entire orange deal.

  4. ocg says:

    Is that David Caruso? Shouldn’t he be wearing a black suit and fighting crime in Miami?

  5. Nichole D. says:

    What the hell are they looking at?! Did they just hit a cute little fluffy bunny with their moped? That might explain the sadness….

  6. April says:

    Maybe they’re praying for help.

  7. val says:

    egads…what’s wrong with their eyes? Can you say STEPFORD?

    hahahahahahahaha

  8. Roadchick says:

    It was the wife/mother unit that did it to them.

    They have no free will.

    Must. Wear. The. Orange. Sweaters.

  9. Cathy says:

    They’re deeply saddened because the frightening orange wife/mother from Dec 2007 has abandoned them for a frivolous life involving freaky orange knit knee-high boots and suggestive ice cream treats. Wouldn’t you be sad too?

  10. val says:

    I’m cryin’………

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