Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On March - 17 - 2011   ShareThis

Things around Chez McYarnpants have changed in the last year. A lot. Things have changed like whoa. Things besides the book. (Which you should totally buy.)

I was doing paperwork last week and saw this exact scene on my desk and knew it was the perfect way to start this blog post. I’ve been putting off writing about it for a while because I’m not even sure what and how much I want to say about it.

Discount Valentine’s candy* and divorce papers. Or as I like to call it,  creamy divorce nougat enrobed in rich chocolate. Neither of these things make me happy, per se, but each were what I really needed. I would have preferred cardamom marshmallows and a lifetime of fulfillment. But you play the cards you’re dealt, yes? Then, once you’ve played them, you switch to a game where you can actually pick your own damned cards!

That’s what I’m focusing on now, figuring out how to assemble a good hand. Ok, I need to quit with this card metaphor before someone tells me to “shuffle up and deal!”

Jon and I separated in May of last year. It was actually just before Caro and I finished the book. A couple of weeks after we decided to separate, I had to hand in my dedication to the publisher. This really threw me for a loop since everything was so fresh, but I realized that just because we weren’t going forward, there was no reason to discount the past. I did appreciate his support during the making of the book and I thanked him for it. And that’s how I’ve tried to proceed since then.

I’m not going to go into details of our relationship any more than to say that after 15 years, our relationship was over and separating was inevitable. I don’t regret our decision and I don’t have any ill will towards him. I just want us both to lead happy, full lives. It’s like a midlife reboot. A Ctrl+Alt+Del in meatspace. A do-over, if you will. Wish us luck!

In the meantime, a new man has entered my life. He looks really young, but he’s actually quite a bit older than me. His name is Bobby and I loff him.

Bobby came to me from YarnyOldKim, who I adore and desperately want to be. Maybe if I eat Bobby, I will absorb her powers.

The cats are getting used to having him around, although he’s not as good at cuddling as Chi Chi would like.

And I suspect Bobby misses his old home. I found him surfing around on my computer the other night. He said he was just looking for photos of naked Sears mannequins, but he was looking at Kim’s Flickr stream.

But he’s settling in well. Thank you, Kim! He looks really great in my sewing room, even though he nearly gives me a heart attack every time I walk in there. That disembodied little darling keeps the ol’ blood pumpin’!

Boop!

Phew, well, that feels good to get off my chest. I wasn’t sure how to approach the divorce on the blog and I think it was kind of acting like a block. Let my prolific blogginggggg – BEGIN!

*It used to have a pretty bow, but I had to cut it off because Dot was nomming on it.

11 Responses

  1. Laurie says:

    Well crap. That sucks but it is what it is and you are right…forward march, reboot, etc.

    Clearly, in that picture, Chi Chi thinks you are being silly. It is nice when our cats can act like adolescent kids. I think Bobby may be a fairly handy hat model!

  2. Yarnyoldkim says:

    Big hugs to you & Bobby! You flatter me to no end & it makes me feel so good. I busted out laughing at Bobby sneaking onto the computer. And I used to “boop” the end of his nose too. It’s just made for going “boop.”
    On a more serious note, I’m sorry for your divorce. It sucks. In time you’ll be so happy that you did this for yourself. My 1st marriage ended in divorce too tho the ex was a complete dickhole. Ending that marriage was the best decision I ever made for myself.
    Love you!

  3. thea says:

    Next time I see you, I’m bringing a fuckload of cardamom marshmallows (and booze).

    You’re awesome and good things,plus that lifetime fulfillment lie ahead. But you already know that. As does Bobby.

  4. Carol says:

    Best of luck to you both. Life is such a rough road sometimes but it does make you appreciate the smooth bits. I appreciate the courage it took to blog about it and hope it helps the moving forward progress.

  5. Carole says:

    I have been wondering if you were going to blog about this. It’s private and personal but it’s good to share, too. I’ve been in this place and I can tell you that you just never know when the next best thing is right around the corner. I wish you the best!

  6. caro says:

    I’m going to expect a blog post a week now. At least.

  7. Amy says:

    I admire your attitude.

    When I was a teenager, my parents fished a life-size cardboard cutout of Joey from “Blossom” out of the dumpster behind the video store and put it in my bedroom while I was taking a shower.

  8. Amy says:

    I’m with Caro. :) Maybe we can impose upon Bobby to remind you! He looks like such a helpful cutie.

  9. Jake of the Lake says:

    Debbie

    I am positive that life will deal you a Royal straight flush and happiness will envelope your life.

    Love you very much,

    Jake

  10. Paul says:

    Best wishes on your re-boot! I’m sure life will only hold wonderful things for you. And Bobby…

  11. maryse says:

    you did a great job with this post. i’m sorry that i’m only now catching up.

    bobby is dreamy.

    love you girl.

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