Today I stand in solidarity with Stephanie. We are sisters in destruction. We are compatriots in chaos. We are the Divas of Debris.
Her conspicuous lack of a porch really strikes a nerve here at Chez McYarnpants. If you’ll remember (or not), I came home from vacation in November to this:
It’s what used to be our porch. Lovingly careened into by a carload of drunk teenagers, artfully rearranged to resemble the losing turn of the National Jenga Finals. Stephanie’s porch was removed through friendlier means, but it’s still pretty alarming to see your house with its two front teeth knocked out. She also has the added benefit of an air conditioned foundation. Neat! (here’s a cold compress, Stephanie dear)
So to help her feel not-so-crappy about her current situation, I’m posting some inspirational photos of our‚ front yard‚ as it was just days ago. I want her to know that it’ll get better, there is hope on the other side of the lumber heap.
See? Flowers can actually grow around the‚ loose chunks of house‚ in your yard! Isn’t that . . . just . . . great . . . ?
Stephanie? Stephanie, put down that bucket of gin and back away from the needles. You cannot just “knit a new porch”. I don’t care if you have a nice pattern for wrought iron crochet rails, it’s just not, well, wait. You do have an awful lot of yarn. Yeah, y’know, I think this could work. How about a porch swing, too?
Oh, hey. Check this out! I got an email from a fellow blogger named Jessica at More Than Many Sparrows. She did a double-take when she saw the Links button on my sidebar. (Yeah, I know, I really need to fix up the list of links) It turns out she actually MADE the earwarmers and gloves! How funny is that? Look, she even got the facial expression down. Apparently, these winter accesories make a gal feel rather coy. Fantastic!
And while looking for Jessica’s email, I found a few others that I meant to answer, but totally didn’t. I’m so sorry if you sent me an email in the past couple of week and I haven’t responded. I’m not a snot, I’m just really forgetful! I’m really trying to get better, I swear. It’s just that I keep forgetting that I’m trying to get better.
Just a few more days until NH Sheep and Wool! I’m looking forward to seeing all my peeps! I’m meeting my parents there, too, so make sure to give them a big blogger “Hello!” when you see us. I want them to think I’m cool. Work with me here.
It will be great to see you Saturday! I’ll have Mr. Budvisor in tow.
jessica looks like she’s a hoot. (i’m clearly channeling someones 89 year old grandmother)
Yay, we’ll definitely give the ‘rents a show.
Jessica is a hoot! So funny and she sings too!!!
Thanks so much for the porch news. Ours is slated for re (de?) construction in July. Let’s all support our Harlot
You were at Sheep and Wool? Did I see you? Damn.
I love the idea of knitting a porch. If Cat Bordhi can knit a treehouse, I say do it!
Hi, it was nice to meet you on Saturday! Your parents are very sweet too, I’m glad your mom liked those rolls 😉
A drunken teenager in a very large pickup truck crashed into my porch many years ago. He hit it hard enough to shove the poured-in-place concrete steps right under the porch……….
Luckily the damage to my porch/house was minimal, but the damage to the truck rendered it undriveable, or the little weasel would have driven away! (I had already called the cops when he began to try to restart the truck………. We were asleep when he hit us — I woke up thinking “EARTHQUAKE!”)
Hey look – it’s Jessicaem! She is one of my blog buddies. Hi, I just found you through Stephanie P-McP, and I am looking forward to your amazing-looking book being released publicly!