Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On January - 2 - 2007   ShareThis

‚ 

‚ 

I haven’t written up a special post for the new year. There are a lot of reasons. I’m still trying to figure out just what the hell has happened over the past year. I mean, a book? A book tour? Two reprints (small reprints, but still, it’s on it’s third printing!)? It’s just weird. I don’t even know how to go about explaining just how it all feels, because it’s not all joy. I’ve now set a bar for myself that I’m having a hard time getting over. I have too many ideas, too much I want to and I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. I love pushing myself, challenging myself, so I’m certainly not tortured over it, but I’m definitely competing against myself and am determined to kick my own ass. Along with the joy are a bit of anxiousness, fear of failure, and a drive to succeed that is like a drug. And despite the book doing fairly well, it has by no means provided me the‚ stability or paycheck‚ for a new career, so my full-time day job is still at the top of my list of things to do. But it’s all good. I even really enjoy doing presentations at book signings now and I’m going to be scheduling more soon! W00t!

Another reason I haven’t done a New Year’s post is that Jon and I have both been a bit distracted lately.‚  And no, I’m not pregnant like a certain redhead I adore and couldn’t be happier for, but I figured if she can show pictures of innards, so can I.

First, this is the outside of our slightly evil baby Mike.

‚ 

Fierce Bad Mike. You may remember him from his demonstration on Live Dying.‚ 

And here is the inside of Mike.

Click for big. It’s kind of hard to scan an X-Ray, so I circled the points of interest. As you can see, crafty cat that he is, Mike has made himself a lovely set of Bladder Stones. He has been keeping most of them in his bladder, but recently rearranged a bit and decided that his urethra might be a good place to put a couple. You know, mix things up a bit. A few days ago, we noticed he was acting strange, kind of mopey and crying this pitiful little cry. He was in and out of the litter box a lot and eventually I saw him pee in front of the litter box. He looked really distressed and barely anything came out.

We took him to the vet, yadda yadda, they removed his penis and now he has to pee like a girl out of a brand new orifice under his anus.

Yes, you read that correctly. Go ahead, read it again. I’m telling you, your eyes did not deceive you.

He had to undergo emergency surgery yesterday because he was completely blocked. The procedure is called a Perineal Urethrostomy. When they ran through the estimate for us, they mentioned “Holiday Prices”. Now, normally this means some kind of big sale, but trust me, when you hear those words in the emergency room of an animal hospital, there are no low, low prices to get excited about. Turns out surgeons would rather go to parties on New Year’s Eve rather than perform Penectomies on cats and apparently need to keep well hydrated while performing the surgery. I mean, I didn’t actually see the Krug itemized on the bill, but I can only assume that’s why it’s costing as much as it is.

‚ Mike is still at the hospital recovering. He should be home tomorrow or Wednesday and we’ve set up our bedroom to be his little sanctuary where he can be secluded from the other cats while he recovers – plastic head cone and all. Poor little guy. Imagine peeing from a whole new place? We visited him today and he’s officially a post-op transsexual. Huh. Imagine that. I think that makes us a progressive household!

Did I mention that I’m selling some really amazing t-shirts and tote bags? And that 100% of the profits will go to the *Save Mike’s Life (But Unfortunately Not His Penis) Foundation? Well, I am and they will. They really are great.

I hope this new year treats you and the panty parts of all your loved ones well. It’s a whole new bucket of worms we’re opening with 2007, so let’s look alive and make it the best ever, people! Get out there and own it! Group hug!
‚ 

23 Responses

  1. chris says:

    Awwww, poor Fierce Bad Mike! I’m so sorry to hear about his surprise sex-change operation . . . not as sorry as he is, I’m sure! Hope he recovers well, and is back to being Fierce and Bad very soon.

  2. Kaitie Tee says:

    Sorry about Mike – hope he recovers quickly!

  3. Carole says:

    Poor Mike. And poor you guys with the bills.

  4. Leanne says:

    Oh, poor kitty! And ouch on the “holiday prices”. We gave strict instructions to our dog that there were to be now injuries or illness between Dec. 22 and Jan. 2. Apparently, Mike didn’t get the memo.

  5. grumperina says:

    My goodness! Poor kitty! I wish him… emm… her a speedy recovery!

  6. maryse says:

    oh poor mikey poo. a friend’s cat went through this too and he adjusted just fine.

    and if mike still thinks he’s a man then he is.

    sorry about the vet bills too. i can only imagine.

  7. Oy! What a way to start the new year. Although, the opportunity to solicit money for such an amazingly named foundation may be *just about* worth all the pain and suffering.

  8. Imbrium says:

    Poor Mike! What a way to ring in the new year. Here’s to hoping for a speedy and thorough recovery.

  9. Kellee says:

    Oh my God! Poor, poor, poor little Mikey! Poor, poor, poor little Yarnpants savings account. That’s just a giant ouchie all the way around isn’t it?

  10. Marnie says:

    Eesh, Mike. So sorry for your..um…loss. And Stitchy, I’m sorry for your financial loss. Great googily moogily. You may want to sit the kittens down for a family talk about when and how it is appropriate to get ill. I’m just saying.

  11. Lisa P says:

    Oh no! Poor kitty. Well it’s not all bad peeing like a girl… I do it all the time. 😉

    But seriously, I hope kitty (and your bank balance) get better real fast!

  12. elisa says:

    I’m speechless.

    Poor Mike.

    Poor(er) Stitchy and Jon.

    But you are certainly tilting the good karma your way by going the distance (I know there’s a bad joke in there somewhere) for your Mike.

  13. melanie says:

    Poor Mike. Any transsexual will tell you though, that you are what you FEEL not what your outer bits say. So you are still Mike. Rock on Fierce Kitty.

  14. martha marin says:

    Oh my freakin heavens.
    That is some serious penis goings-on.
    er.. offs.
    I’m sad for your cat and his removed penis.
    But really really glad that you’ve given me the oppurtunity to write that last sentence.

  15. claudia says:

    Whoa. That is SOME new years.

    Hey, the girly t-shirts aren’t showing up for me when I click the link, nor the sizing chart.

    :(

  16. Sara says:

    Oh my Gawd – I thought that whole really bad bladder/kidney stones/really bad UTI in male cats = Penis-be-gone was a urban myth. Poor Mikey :(
    Wait…doesn’t that mean the girls outnumber the boys in your house now? Woohoo for girls!

  17. janna says:

    So is Mikey now Michelle? Is he embracing his feminine side? I guess, though, without some added kitty hormones, he’ll remain Mike, although no one will be able to tell he is……

  18. Ruth says:

    Poor Mike! I hope he (and your bank account) heal quickly.

  19. Mel says:

    Well, technically, the penis doesn’t get lopped. It’s still there, but it just doesn’t do anything anymore once the plumbing’s redirected. Still, I feel your (or more correctly, Mike’s) pain. Out of professional curiosity, I’d be interested to know where the surgery was done.

  20. Chris says:

    Yuck! Poor Mike, poor you (in both senses, I suspect). My sister’s cat had that done too, years ago. DH has kidney stones (maybe because he keeps dehydrating himself?) so I’ll have to share this with him. Just to be the evil wife.

  21. Laurie says:

    That would be funny if it wasn’t so not funny. Poor Mike! Sounds pretty drastic, especially the holiday pricing. Couldn’t they just call it overtime, and not make it sound so Scroogish?

  22. Lars says:

    One word: ouch! Both to Mike and your bank account. I thought about writing something witty, but couldn’t bring myself to make fun of your unfortunate situation. The things we do for our pets…

  23. Theresa says:

    we’re palnning to do the same thing to my kitty but he’s getting better on his own but ince he gets through this ordeal we’ll be taking him to get his ” friend ” removed as well .. around how much did the procedure cost you they want 3,500 well the vet that he goes to

Leave a Reply to grumperina