Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On April - 29 - 2008   ShareThis

We used to have a cat named Mike. We still have the same cat, but the other day, Jon felt that Mike was entering his angsty, adolescent, goth phase and needed a new goth name.

As we drifted off to sleep, I came up with Dusty Sorrow. It suits him perfectly, and I will tell you why in song. Please, feel free to sing along to the tune of Desperado. (Believe it or not, I thought of the name days before the song idea)

Dusty Sorrow, why don’t you come to your senses?
You been hidin’ ‘neath the floorboards for so long now
Oh you’re a skittish one
But I know that you got your reasons
These groomers that are tweezing you
Can hurt you somehow.

Don’t you draw those freshly clipped claws, boy
They’re useless and unstable
You know your shiny teeth are always your best bet

Now it seems to me some crappy things
Have been laid upon your table
But I’m sorry that a new penis you can’t get

Dusty Sorrow, whoa you ain’t getting any cleaner
Your pain and your hunger should be drivin’ you from that hole
And freedom, oh freedom well, that just ain’t happ’nin’
Your prison is walking through this house as you please

Don’t your feet get dirty on that filthy pine?
And its hours past your dinnertime
Its hard to tell if you’re just wasting the day
Or if you’re losing air and getting poked with nails
Ain’t it funny how you seem angry either way?

Dusty Sorrow, why don’t you come to your senses?
Come out from the floorboards, don’t make me wait
It may be scary, but there’s a mummy above you
You better let your mummy love you

(let your mummy love you)

You better let your mummy love you
Before you get even more filthy under there


Mike has had a tough week. It started two Saturdays ago with a trip to the groomer and a well-executed “Lion Cut”. The groomer noticed he seemed to be having dribbling issues and what with the whole penectomy and new pee-hole, you really have to be careful about such things. When we got home from the groomers, we decided he needed to go to the vet and got him back into his carrier. As we left, I realized I had forgotten my keys, so Jon put the carrier down and unlocked the front door so I could go get them. Unfortunately, he put Mike’s carrier on the steps.

You see where this is going.

Luckily it was the bottom step, but when Mike shifted his weight and down the carrier went. He only rolled half a revolution, but it seemed to be enough to really piss him off. There was growling and hissing.

And at the vet, well, they did vet things and tried to get some samples but his bladder was empty. They sent us home with two weeks worth of liquid antibiotics that Jon feels are banana-flavored. I don’t know where anyone got the idea that banana-flavored medicine is just the thing for cats, but twice a day, Mike is grabbed and given a mouthful of what is essentially liquefied Circus Peanuts.

So is it any wonder that when Jon’s brother walked into the kitchen last Saturday carrying a cooler that looks very much like a cat carrier, Mike freaked out and dove into a hole under the kitchen sink? And stayed under there, with the rusty nails poking him and the dirt and grime of probably 80 or more years of kitchen grossness from 2 in the afternoon until 1 in the morning?

Eventually, he got himself into a spot where he actually couldn’t get out. (We got pictures by reaching in as far as we could and snapping in the dark.) We removed large parts of the wall that were boarded up from previous work done on the pipes. For hours, I sweet talked him with my kitty voice and a can of tuna, he cried, and finally, I was able to get him to move to the most open part of the hole. He could only get his head and one paw out, so I had to maneuver him in a way that looked very much like childbirth. I was able to get my hand down his side to lift out his other shoulder and paw, then carefully guided him out. Then he went right for the plate of tuna.

So, I guess if you ever need any midwifery advice for a wooden house and a cat, let me know.

P.S. We fixed the hole under the sink.

22 Responses

  1. Mel says:

    Poor kitty.

    And the drops are banana-flavored because it’s the same stuff they make for kids wrapped in a different package (Thank you, Pfizer). At least it costs less in the kitty packaging.

  2. Rabbitch says:

    If I wasn’t busy laughing so much I’d feel sorry for your poor pizzle-less kitty.

  3. Carole says:

    That poor kitty! Mason sends his best regards.

  4. caro says:

    I second Maryse. Oh Mike.

    • Hank says:

      Sorry about the cofoisunn! I'm put it in the next stitch like in the video. So I yarn over and pull through the six loops on the hook. Then put sc in the next stitch. I make it nice and snug and kind of have to push the bobble out and down to reach it.

    • They say god only takes the best… He truly has now. Only fools is what I put on when I am feeling low, when I just simply want to smile or have the best laugh. A true legend, one of a kind. Thankyou for sharing your special gift. Thoughts with your family xx

    • No hace un mes que “me cruce” con dos abuelas que volaban bajo junto a la autovia Zaragoza-Huesca rumbo sur. Imaginé que vendrían de algún ejercicio en las Bardenas. Se veían magníficos. Imagino que los piques “fraternales” serán continuos. Cuando fuerzas de otros países vienen a entrenarse en las Bardenas, ¿se aprovecha la ocasión para hacer algún miniejercicio conjunto?.Un saludo y muchas gracias por el artículo.

    • Ma foi, Verena, si vous voulez continuer à gober la propagande qu’on vous sert, je crois qu’on ne peut pas grand-chose pour vous. Après tout, que valent les faits à l’épreuve de votre idéologie et de vos Å“illères ?

    • To those of you who have been to a wedding without a DJ, or who are planning a DJ-free wedding of their own.I hate the cost of weddings, so I have cut ouf a lot of things. (DJ, video, cake, real flowers)I’m wondering how not having a DJ would work. We want to hook out our Ipod to the sound system, but we haven’t got much more ideas past that.Can anyone help?Philly – where are you located?? I haven’t found anything less than $400 for a basic cake and nothing less than $700 for a DJ

  5. Marnie says:

    I really want to give Dusty Sorrow a hug but I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t much appreciate it. poor guy. I do think he looks great with his new haircut.

    Have you considered just training him to like his carrier by feeding him all his meals there for a while? Just a thought. It might take the edge off a bit. Then you could start taking him on short little trips outside or in the car, in the carrier, where nothing crazy happens and then come back and give him some kitty treats.

  6. Jackie says:

    What an ordeal, for both you AND Dusty Sorrow.

    Great name, btw.

  7. elisa says:

    Maybe, with his new name, he’ll be able to come to terms with being re-gendered.

    Or un-gendered. I’m not really sure which.

  8. ErickaJo says:

    You know, it doesn’t matter that you post less than I do (a rare feat, my dear.) When you post it’s usually something that I read out loud to everyone within hearing distance. This is a cat house, and the cat people found this hilarious. The nearest cat, perched atop my monitor, is glowering. (She never had a great sense of humor)

    She sends her support to poor Dusty Sorrow.

    • Voncile says:

      My mum has two story buildings of eight bed each, in nigeria please what type of sola generator will carry whole building. And can you give me an estimate ideal of the coit.Regards,veronsca September 4, 2012 Veronica

    • Boobie rub FTW!!! I will think of that whenever I watch it and I’ll be wacnihtg it a lot I thinking of all the moans that Ai fans gave when they heard she didn’t have a solo line, but heck, I hope this PV is enough for them. If not then GTFO!!!Risa’s ass I saw that too I can’t wait for the HQ, Single V version to come out just for that shot alone ♥♥♥Thanks for linking to my blog as well. You’re a dear ♥

    • Happy birthday Jon! Looks and sounds like it was a wonderful (and delicious) party! Such nice friends you people have. We watched the entire closing ceremony too. Was good, right?!

    • Heheheh, treneru ja se pronalazim u svemu sto si napisao za zabusavanje ali nema veze dao sam sve od sebe! A sto se tice devojaka svaka cast bile su bolje od velikog broja nas muskaraca…

  9. Martha says:

    Aren’t there support groups for this sort of thing? Poor Mike.

  10. heide says:

    Oh, poor kitty. At least now you can offer to show people pictures of your shaved pussy. That’s always fun, especially at work.

  11. becky says:

    can you send that brother of mine ,with his cat carrier looking thing, this way…I have a cat I would like to see disappear…darn thing pissed on my cross stich again…..

  12. monica says:

    The circus peanut think made me shoot water out of my nose. My cat loves circus peanuts. He loves them in a way that if I whisper the word “marshmellow” he sits at my feet and nags until he gets one. Clearly, your vet and mine should swap info, because coop hates fish, and he keeps getting salmon flavored meds

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