After doing some research, I was shocked to learn that Stitchy McYarnpants does not appear on the list of fashion designers allowed to use the term “Haute Couture” in an official sense. I guess it’s my own fault for embracing Freedom Fries. C’est la guerre du mode.

So I have coined a new term and will heretofore be known as the preeminent fashion designer in the Haute Canture movement. In order to keep the fashion pure, I’ve had to put a few rules in place to keep out the riff raff.

-Design made-to-order for private clients, with one or more fittings.

-Have a workspace cleared in the living room that employs at least four cats in order to provide full cat-hair cover.

-Must present a garment to a contestant in a prestigious Drag Queen beauty pageant. The garment must use acrylic yarn already in the designer’s stash so that the only cost incurred is for beer.

With Haute Canture behind her, Shelby is going to be the most stunning Beauty Queen to ever wear a pile of recyclables.

Shelby Free is her name, being cheap and easy is her game. But we all know that you’re not cheap and easy. Well, not cheap, anyway. So please give whatever you can on the “Donations” page of Shelby’s website. All donations go to Aid for AIDS, whose mission it is to provide financial assistance for necessities of life to adults and children living below the poverty-line with HIV/AIDS, primarily in Los Angeles County. Be sure to include Shelby’s name on your donation as requested on the Donations page.

Go ahead, I’ll wait while you make your donation.

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Hooray! Thanks for your generosity! And now, on to the dress (as always, click for big):

Here is the front, in all its canny glory. The white tank top is actually going to become the lining for the top. I’m going to sew it just below the edge around the neck, arms and bottom. All of the squared-off parts will be filled in with crochet, and then I’ll crochet another row all around the neck and arms to smooth everything out.

These cans will most assuredly NOT make Shelby’s but look big.

Here’s a closeup of the front. I’m crazy about the bows! I think they add just the right touch.

And here is the back. It’s going to lace up so the fit can be adjusted. I’m going to cut the tank top and bra to sew them in, so this is going to be a saucy little number all nakedy in the back. I’m thinking of adding a nice big butt bow at the bottom of the lacing. I love butt bows!