Posted by admin On October - 11 - 2004   ShareThis

Welcome to the new edition of the MOKS (I just noticed today what the acronym spells out. Works for me!) Today’s feature brings us to the “You Knit for Your Mama with Those Needles?” exhibit about the seamier side of knitting and crochet. There was a time, long ago, when women flaunted their sexuality with hand-crafted fashion. Clothing was revealing, love was all around, and baby – it was free! Luckily, society has moved past that, but here’s a look back at a decade where flesh and acrylic yarn played dangerously together. (as always, you can click on the pictures for a larger image)

Get cozy and enjoy! Here’s an erotic pillow for your comfort.

“Color is only one of the vital notes of excitement in these lively fashions!” boasts McCall’s Needleworks and Crafts’ 1972 winner of the Master of the Obvious award. They call them “mini shorts”, I call them “underwear” – tomato/tomahtah, really. Whatever you want to call them, these hot little numbers demand to be made from that camel hair yarn you’ve been wondering what to do with. They’ve already got the toes, you may as well toss the rest of the camel in there.

Tired of all that pesky undressing when you want to go streaking? Well, strip no more! Now you can be naked all day AND wear shoes to match with this fabulous Peek-a-Boob pant suit – now with 25% more nudity! You’ll be the envy of all the girls on the corner.

If only there were a way to capture the comfort and ease of the exam room. Imagine relaxing poolside and being able to just scootch down a bit in style. Well, stop dreaming, sister, because with the GYN Jumper, every day can be like your last pap smear!

Well, wait a minute. This lovely sweater is the height of modesty. Long sleeves, high neckline – nothing revealing about this. Why this demure young lady could be the head of the PTA.

Oh my! I guess I didn’t realize that PTA stood for Pants Tossed Aside. I defy anyone to maintain eye contact with this woman for more than 4 seconds. Go ahead. Try it. You can’t! And she knows it.

Ever wish you could have a wedgie consisting of an entire skein of your favorite yarn? Were you disappointed with the all-over body rash you didn’t get on your last bike ride? Do you want to learn how to felt wool with sweat while wearing it? Step right up, Lady Jane, have I got a project for you – straight from the pages of Seventeen’s Spring/Summer 1973 issue of Make it! Now, maybe I’m a naive child of the 80’s who believed what they said about the green M&Ms, but does ordering a bunch of teenage girls in the 70’s to “Make it!” seem like a bad idea? Yeah, I thought so.

uuuuh . . . and if your “thing” happens to be diapers – all the better! At least they’re offering a guarantee they can stand behind. Good lord, there aren’t enough crocheted unhappy faced pillows in the world to express my feelings for the Patron Saint of Perverse Yarn Fetish. (I can’t wait to get my first site hit from someone Googling “Yarn Fetish”.)

And that wraps it up for today’s adventure in knitting for gals looser than a new knitter’s stitches. Whatever became of these women of easy virtue and cheap fiber? Did they overcome their wanton ways or succumb to the acrylic heartache for which they were bound? I can tell you in two simple words.

Yarn sores. Don’t let it happen to you.

Thank you all for coming, watch your step on the way out and we’ll see you next time! Buh-bye.

29 Responses

  1. Anonymous says:

    What can I say – you’ve left me ROTFLOL!!! Great take on all those “wonderful” fashions of the sixties and seventies!

    Lea

  2. What a fun read, especially at midnight when I can’t sleep!
    Li

  3. Anonymous says:

    Hi,

    I love your musuem! Actually, I love your blog. In fact, I dedicated an entry of my blog to yours:
    http://www.20six.co.uk/trackback/acj8yom57yia

    I’ve also added you as a link, if you don’t mind!

    Hilari

  4. Anonymous says:

    how’s about we try that again with an actual working link this time, eh?

    http://www.20six.co.uk/weblogCategory/1hm2sa6vfy7rm?d=4.10.2004

    Hilari

  5. Trish says:

    Stamp out acrylic! NO MORE YARN SORES!

    Looking forward to your next edition of MOK (and anything you might post before then) Thanks for the laughs!

  6. Anonymous says:

    Oh my gosh, this post had me laughing out loud here at work and then I had to explain, and well…Good gawd! Thanks for making my morning!

    Heidi
    http://absintheknits.typepad.com/

  7. La says:

    OMG! Too F—riggin funny! Thank you, Thank you, THAKN YOU! I needed that

  8. margene says:

    That’s what ’70’s feminism brought us. We thought we were ‘in charge’ of our bodies. Man, those pictures bring back a lot of bad memories. Glad you made me laugh!

  9. Anonymous says:

    Oh my lord. I found your blog through the ChicKnits site, but I am book marking it right now.

    (I have a “thing” for vintage patterns, but usually tossed aside those from the seventies. Never more! Who knew they were so lascivious?)

    ~Marlena

  10. IndigoMuse says:

    This was too damn funny. Thank you for the great laugh. Camels! ROTFL…

    Tanya

  11. melanie says:

    I just know your Museum is going to become famous. I’ll bet you can even start charging admission for the laughs it brings and ditch that day job of yours. Another brilliant installment!

  12. Anonymous says:

    when i was in the 3rd grade my mother made me a peekaboo crocheted dress that my mother would style with a white blouse underneath providing me with the correct amount of modesty up top. but the skirt was peekaboo-y as well and my slip was there for viewing. i’m still working this out with my therapist.

    sigh

    maryse @ http://morici.typepad.com/bag_n_trash

  13. Anonymous says:

    Hi,

    I love the MOKs. But I think that the pillow while being atrocious might not be erotic: that’s supposed to be the astronomical sign of Gemini.

    Karin

  14. Pet says:

    Mrs McYarnpants… you very funny lady! Clever post, I especially enjoyed the yarn sores!!! Thank you!

  15. monkeemaven says:

    *snort*

    I actually have that exact McCall’s Needlework and Crafts! I’ve got around a dozen from ’67 – ’73… gawd, they’re all just like that.

    http://monkeepundit.blogspot.com/

  16. Anonymous says:

    Funky Vintage patters are just great! (Child of the 70’s!) But why oh why did they ever envent Acrylic! NOT in my “Polymerized Paradise” of yarn heaven! Some vintage goodies can be ‘tweaked’ into some great ‘now’ designs in gorgeous yarns available now – not too sure about HotPants though LOL – Greetings from Amsterdam Netherlands :¬) http://www.draw-strings.com – Fun blog btw ~Lydia~

  17. Katy says:

    I also found your site while surfing Chicknits, and I’ve added you to my bloglines subscriptions. Too funny! I live in Western MA, wish I was close enough to go to the Knitsmiths gatherings. And hey, maybe you need to start a mini-short-a-long, that might get some needles clicking all over the place!
    http://knitterpated.blogspot.com

  18. Rabbitch says:

    Oh god, I think I just hurt myself. Thank you.

  19. Lauren says:

    You are too *funny*! I am still laughing at the camel joke, as well as the PTA = Pants Tossed Aside!! Wow, what a great journal entry! Thanks for giving all of us a laugh! :)

  20. Elayne says:

    Thanks for the giggles…especially since I used to wear those “hotpants” and much of the other stuff. The demand for acrylic came about because it “didn’t felt”. Fabulously fun days back in UK before I was whisked away by my still gorgeous “Yank”.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Hi! My name is Jenn, I saw your post the other day with the Mr Dressup sweater and the horse fly net. Picture here: http://photos1.blogger.com/img/178/1590/640/Dude.jpg

    I was wondering if you had the book the horse flynet pattern came in or knew the title or perhaps where I could get another copy of it if it is in a book? I have been searching for a flynet because my horse needs one and the storebought ones, although basically the same thing, just aren’t cool when I know I can make my own! I can be emailed at emanonx AT hotmail DOT com. I would have just sent an email to begin with but I couldn’t find one on the page. Sorry for bothering you! By the way…This entry, with all these crazy fashions, is awesome!

  22. Michelle says:

    ROTFLMAO! Thank you for this entry. It made my day!

  23. Miriam says:

    *LMAO*

    Wow… I just have to link this entry. I’m very glad that everyone else in my office is out to lunch. It would be hard to explain why I was reading knitting blogs at work and laughing so hard!

    Thank you THANK YOU!

    Miriam
    http://www.mimknits.blogspot.com

  24. Anonymous says:

    I think the sandwich board dress item is my favorite…

    *patiently waiting for Volume III)*

  25. Elabeth says:

    Oh god..I was laughing so hard I started to cry. Husband Boy had to come see what I was laughing at. LOL I showed him the pants tossed aside lady and he had to leave the room. hahahahahahhahaha

  26. Anonymous says:

    These pics are hilarious. I am so glad I missed the 60s and most of the 70’s…

  27. GailV says:

    I’m pretty sure my sister had that issue of Seventeen Make It. That image was burned into my retinas at a tender age, although surpressed all these years. This explains so much….

  28. Jim says:

    If you really cant sleep, you might look at a video of knitting addiction at http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5299855665083820396&q=knitwitz

    It is a funny diversion… :)
    JLH “I’m a MAN and I KNIT!”

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