Welcome to the new edition of the MOKS (I just noticed today what the acronym spells out. Works for me!) Today’s feature brings us to the “You Knit for Your Mama with Those Needles?” exhibit about the seamier side of knitting and crochet. There was a time, long ago, when women flaunted their sexuality with hand-crafted fashion. Clothing was revealing, love was all around, and baby – it was free! Luckily, society has moved past that, but here’s a look back at a decade where flesh and acrylic yarn played dangerously together. (as always, you can click on the pictures for a larger image)

Get cozy and enjoy! Here’s an erotic pillow for your comfort.

“Color is only one of the vital notes of excitement in these lively fashions!” boasts McCall’s Needleworks and Crafts’ 1972 winner of the Master of the Obvious award. They call them “mini shorts”, I call them “underwear” – tomato/tomahtah, really. Whatever you want to call them, these hot little numbers demand to be made from that camel hair yarn you’ve been wondering what to do with. They’ve already got the toes, you may as well toss the rest of the camel in there.

Tired of all that pesky undressing when you want to go streaking? Well, strip no more! Now you can be naked all day AND wear shoes to match with this fabulous Peek-a-Boob pant suit – now with 25% more nudity! You’ll be the envy of all the girls on the corner.

If only there were a way to capture the comfort and ease of the exam room. Imagine relaxing poolside and being able to just scootch down a bit in style. Well, stop dreaming, sister, because with the GYN Jumper, every day can be like your last pap smear!

Well, wait a minute. This lovely sweater is the height of modesty. Long sleeves, high neckline – nothing revealing about this. Why this demure young lady could be the head of the PTA.

Oh my! I guess I didn’t realize that PTA stood for Pants Tossed Aside. I defy anyone to maintain eye contact with this woman for more than 4 seconds. Go ahead. Try it. You can’t! And she knows it.

Ever wish you could have a wedgie consisting of an entire skein of your favorite yarn? Were you disappointed with the all-over body rash you didn’t get on your last bike ride? Do you want to learn how to felt wool with sweat while wearing it? Step right up, Lady Jane, have I got a project for you – straight from the pages of Seventeen’s Spring/Summer 1973 issue of Make it! Now, maybe I’m a naive child of the 80’s who believed what they said about the green M&Ms, but does ordering a bunch of teenage girls in the 70’s to “Make it!” seem like a bad idea? Yeah, I thought so.

uuuuh . . . and if your “thing” happens to be diapers – all the better! At least they’re offering a guarantee they can stand behind. Good lord, there aren’t enough crocheted unhappy faced pillows in the world to express my feelings for the Patron Saint of Perverse Yarn Fetish. (I can’t wait to get my first site hit from someone Googling “Yarn Fetish”.)

And that wraps it up for today’s adventure in knitting for gals looser than a new knitter’s stitches. Whatever became of these women of easy virtue and cheap fiber? Did they overcome their wanton ways or succumb to the acrylic heartache for which they were bound? I can tell you in two simple words.

Yarn sores. Don’t let it happen to you.

Thank you all for coming, watch your step on the way out and we’ll see you next time! Buh-bye.