Posted by Stitchy McYarnpants On July - 9 - 2008   ShareThis

Greetings, loyal patron(s). Welcome back! We apologize for our abrupt disappearance. There was a speck of drama in the administrative offices, but most of the Museum staff were released on parole earlier this week (some, who shall remain nameless, cough*TammyInAccounting*cough are undergoing some well-deserved state-sponsored rehabilitation), so we can finally get back to business.

We would be remiss if we were to gloss over the entire situation, so before we move forward, we must go back. As you may remember, we recently announced a very exciting project involving Miss West Virginia, Shelby Free. Miss Shelby is one of the contestants hand-selected to compete in the 2008 Best in Drag pageant and we have the honor of creating a spectacular gown for the occasion! Best in Drag is one of Aid for Aids biggest and most entertaining fundraisers. Last year, the event raised $300,000 to help those living with AIDS. Be sure to go to Shelby’s website, click “Donations” on the left sidebar and give until it’s glamorous! (Be sure to include Shelby’s name on your donation as requested on the Donations page.)

Since the gown is made entirely of beer cans and acrylic yarn, is it any wonder than events spiraled into chaos so quickly and with such thundering force? Upon reflection, it may not have been the best idea to involve Tammy with the likes of one Winnebago Lynn McCoy. Winnie Lynn was the Co-Acting Director-at-Large of our Historic Textiles department, and she was heading up this exciting gown project. We thought that Tammy and Winnie’s “shared interests” would bond them, but as it turns out, one of their more recent shared interests happened to be Vinnie in Security. Needless to say, an argument ensued and when it was all over, we were left with a ragged pile of blond hair extensions, a number of bloodied, broken acrylic fingernails, and oddly, a satin thong.

As it turns out, Winnie was actually a fugitive on the run from the law in West Virginia, of all places! Upon further investigation, we learned that she was one of Shelby Free’s arch enemies, sworn to do whatever she could to get back at her childhood nemesis. She was planning to sabotage Shelby’s dress in order to embarrass her at the pageant! Luckily, her nefarious plan was thwarted and we can now continue work on the dress.

As the curator of the Museum, I have decided to personally oversee the construction with the aid of my Help Meet, Jon. Please enjoy these photos documenting this challenging, but rewarding task.

Getting down to business, I decided to attack from the front.

Delicate shoulder straps will give this a frock a feminine touch.

I added a feminine touch all my own. It was all in the name of committing to a cup size. We went with a full C.

My husband gave it a decidedly masculine touch. Truth be told, Jon is the one who worked out the best way to handle the bust shaping. Beer cones!

Thank you for your continued patronage and for your generous donations to the Best in Drag show! More updates and a new MOKS gallery coming soon! And if Tammy calls you (the office Rolodex has come up missing and she’s got hiding crevices that the warden hasn’t even thought of), do NOT send her rum cake with a file in it. It is NOT “part of her program”. Ask us how we know.

Stitchy McYarnpants
Creator, Curator
Museum of Kitschy Stitches

Categories: Beer Can Crochet, MOKS

6 Responses

  1. Kim says:

    Shit! If I could go back in time and choose my wedding dress all over again it would be a beer-can asscrylic gown. You and your hubby are the King and Kween of Kouture.

  2. Debbie, You are amazing… I am so happy that I found you.. You are a true gift… I am looking so forward to meeting you and Jon and I (Miss West Virginia/Shelby Free am so honored that you have taken on this project for me.. This dress will go down in History. We are helping so many individuals live with HIV/AIDS.. I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

  3. Tom Pardoe says:

    Debbie and Jon- Thank you for helping Shelby look her very best for Best in Drag Show 2008! Thank you sharing your gifts with all of us as well. Brings a big smile to my face…and heart.
    Love and Service- Tom Pardoe (Director/Producer- Best in Drag Show)

  4. maryse says:

    this dress is going to be fan-fucking-tastic. and jon is a couture genius in the making. today, it’s beer cone bras. tomorrow perhaps project runway?

  5. debbie and jon,

    thanks so much for helping shelby.
    you have no idea of the impression that you have made on her and to all of her friends. that hilly billy shelby can’t stop talking about you two! i look forward to meeting you both and thanks for opening your hearts!
    all the best
    george mariella

  6. jessica says:

    Love the dress. Shelby you rock.

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