Little Aynnie Rand saw no humor in the distasteful shenanigans of those three little pigs. Horrid, filthy, wasteful animals. A house made of straw? It makes no sense! Neither, however, does this sweater. Expanding bust pleats for a seven-year-old? A pair of drumsticks where arms should be?  No, this will not do. Objectively speaking, this is the worst. Sweater. Ever.

*psssst

. . . and so, Bear-Proof Sweaters Inc. was forced to cease production and close it’s doors forever.

Team Stitchy!!!

And the crowd goes wild! Stitchy was a long shot this year, with many convinced she’d be outwitted by the twitchy little rodent. It’s long been known that her biggest weakness is a furry critter of any kind, and if the first two rounds of the Squirreled Series were any indication of things to come, Stitchy was going to get owned. But in a stunning upset Tuesday night, it was the squirrel’s weakness that was his eventual undoing. As rumors of the squirrel’s taste for peanut butter surfaced, Team Stitchy hatched a cunning plan to exploit this vulnerability. The trap was smeared, sunflower seeds were embedded, and although he had denied his addiction vehemently, the interloper was unable to resist the rich, creamy goodness.

Unfortunately, there is no photographic documentation of the victory as Team Stitchy was actually in the car on the way home from work when the game was won. Team Brother was, however, on the scene and provided a play-by-play recounting of the events. It is reported that the squirrel was on the small side and looked rather scruffy. It is surmised that said scruffiness occurred during the critter’s stay in the basement as he looked fluffy and clean when he leapt out of the ceiling just days ago. Early reports also indicate that the squirrel departed with a belly full of peanut butter and seeds as the food tray was completely clear of residue. Team Stitchy finds the idea of the little squirrel licking up all the peanut butter to be adorable. All parties involved felt badly that it was such a rainy, windy night, but upon his release into the yard, the squirrel headed straight up a nearby tree. No doubt he has already drawn up a crude map and is devising a new plan with a growing squirrel army. Chances are good that he is actually, at this moment, wearing an army General’s hat and has taken to using a riding crop for gesticualating powerfully in front of his troops. Luckily, the homestead is reinforced with ten housecats just looking for something to chase.

Here is one team of four cats warming the bench, just waiting for their chance to join the game. Bring it on, twitchy.

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*ok, I’ll admit it, they don’t look like the livliest or killiest bunch. But these babies can go from napping to deadly in seconds. Seriously. You just try and stop them. Sure, it would be better if the squirrel were to position itself directly below one of their paws, but no need. ~ahem~ They’ll wake up. Aaaaany minute. Mark my words. You can groom something to death, right? Because once they start that . . . hoo boy, ain’t no stopping them. *cough* Y’know, or they may just want to toy with the squirrel for a while. Bat it around, cuddle with it, make it feel comfortable. Then BAM! More . . . cuddling.

Anyhoo.

Here is some knitting. It’s a basketweave pattern from Viv Foster’s Knitting Handbook. Nothin’ heavy, just a simple knit/purl thing. But I’m really enjoying watching it come together. For all its simplicity, it looks pretty detailed.

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And the back is even cooler! I love when my knitting treats me to little surprises once in a while.
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Squirrel – 2
Stitchy – 0

I have now resorted to the big guns. Big peanut butter guns. Big peanut butter guns encrusted with sunflower seeds.

Your move, varmint.

(I fear this may reach Caddyshack proportions before it’s all over. I’m looking forward to sculpting the plastic explosives.)

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I love that I have to convince people of that. Yes, she who shares the contents of everything from her uterus to her cats’ litter box with everyone on the internets, is shy. I was once referred to in high school as “That girl who never says anything.” I live in mortal fear of speaking in front of large groups of people. It’s all a sham, people. Stitchy is really a hermit. Luckily, I am a yarn-seeking hermit, so I can actually be drawn out of my shell at times. And it is a lot easier when confronted with a gaggle of giggling knitters.

So Laurie is right. I was rather restrained in my stash enhancement last weekend. I did a pretty good job of sticking to my budget. But I also forgot to include some stuff. Whoopsie. It’s because it was all put away. Out of sight, out of mind you know how it is. I got a bunch of stuff for needle felting. I got a cool tool that holds six needles at once, five blobs of pretty roving to make an assortment of cuties, and some foam felting boards to keep you from stabbing your legs from FeltCrafts. They were extremely helpful, the woman at the booth actually ran to her car to get some extra needles for me. I shall be patronizing them again. I also got a bag of more felting fluff from Misty Mountain Farms. There are even bits of curly wool in there that should be really interesting to work with.

I don’t have pictures of all that stuff, but I do have a finished object! I made a little Rhinebeck mascot. Of course, right before I finished, I saw that Juno has already found one (see the last photo of the demon sheep of Rhinebeck). Drat! Oh well, I pressed on and came up with this little dude.

Please meet Spendy, the Spokessheep of Rhinebeck.

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Spendy says “Baaaaaaaaa more stuff!” He has bendable arms and legs (well, technically, they’re all legs) so he can help point out all the things you need.

You can also see that he’s been hanging out at the fried dough cart for a little too long. Just look at that belly! Our little Spendy does not make good choices when it comes to fair fare. He should have just had that salad. Oh well. “Fraaaaaa more dough!”
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And in the comments, Kristy asked about the recipe for the felted bear I made a while ago. I got the instructions and kit from Living Felt. It’s such a gratifying use of fiber, I can’t recommend trying it enough. Now that I think of it, I actually bought the kit from Marr Haven. Both places have lots of cool felting stuff, so check ¢â‚¬Ëœem both out!

And in other news, I have embarked upon the classic battle between woman and beast. No, not Jon. Not the cats. A squirrel. In our basement. When first discovered, he was napping in a box of leftover decorations from my wedding. He came flying out when Charlene walked by and startled him. My brother, unaware of Charlene’s encounter, thought someone had left one of their cats down there because garbage cans were knocked over, bottles from on top of the fridge were smashed on the floor, and there were little footprints all over the toilet seat where someone had perched to get a drink. I believe there were also some little footprints on his laundry that was hanging down there. Later, I was putting away a rake after some long avoided yard work and heard the skittering of tiny paws in the ceiling. So I tapped here and there until I startled him and he came flying out of a hole and ran to the other side of the basement along the pipes. Apparently, this squirrel is wound real tight. He needs to chill. If he would just come out and sit on my shoulder, he would get so many treats and smooches, his head would spin*. But he wants to do this the hard way.

Honestly, I was just worried that he was hungry. But it turns out he also found the birdseed we had down there. So I got a Have-a-Heart trap. It’s all steel and noisy and clanky, so from the squirrel’s standpoint, this is actually a Have-a-Heartattack trap. Jon and I set it up, we even included some treats that we’d just gotten for our own under-documented hamster, Wuzzy. We’ve been checking the trap regularly since yesterday. I moved it closer to his water supply today, though I refuse to admit it was just for his convenience. I checked it a short while ago and it looks like he had himself a lovely snack. But he didn’t hang around for the actual trapping or anything. He did, however, leave a bunch of empty seed shells for me to clean up.

Squirrel 1
Stitchy – 0

*Don’t worry, I don’t plan on kissing the squirrel when I catch him. He’s going right outside.

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