Well, I’ll be damned. Bad vintage fashion has gone all self-mocking on me! Will you look at this?
“Just What I Wanted!”
“zingy fashion in-ness!”
“Make him the 4″ wide tie or the exciting 5″ width – or both!”
“Fringed vests are the newest thing with young he’s and she’s”
“bead the fringe in casual Indian effect”?
These bastards are trying to put me out of business! How can they do this to me? How can they be making fun of themselves? It’s not right, I tells ya’! Next thing you know, I’m going to find out they invented the granny square lo those many years ago just to mess with my head.
This is some kind of Terminator thing, I just know it. If you see a snarky cyberdynic robot running around making fun of people’s sweaters, let me know.
Now I’m afraid to answer the door. What if it comes for me? But it might be worth getting squashed between a speeding 18-wheeler crane thing and a fire truck just to hear the words “Stitchy McYarnpants?” in an Austrian accent. Maybe it’ll all work out ok and the Snarkinator will give me a thumbs up as I slowly lower it into a steaming crock pot full of yarn that I’m dying. We’ll see. But in the meantime, why not add a butterfly bow tie? The bow is wide, too – d’oh!